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Mothers of babies who were in the NICU, Special Care Nursery, or PICU, how would you feel about someone who is not a nurse comforting your baby when they are upset?

I was wandering how mothers who have had babies in the NICU, Special Care Nursery, or PICU would feel about someone who is not a nurse comforting their babies when they were upset and crying when you can not be there for them. I have had 3 babies that were premeeies and they were either in the NICU or Special Care Nursery for a period of time. One day when I was sitting there holding my newborn son there was a baby in an crib near by that kept crying. The nurse did go over to her and pick her up and calm her down. However, as soon as the nurse put her back down she started to cry again. The nurse had other babies and charting to attend to and could not hold her the whole time. So the baby continued to cry for about 20 minutes until another nurse could hold her. It made me so sad to think that that could be my son and he could lay there crying and not be comforted. Not that I blame the nurse because I understand that she has other patients to attend to, but I just felt so bad. I would like to try to start an organization in which mothers who have had babies that have been in the NICU, Special Care Nursery or PICU could voluntary in the nursery to hold and comfort babies when their parents could not be there and the nurse can not hold them. I wanted to know how other moms would feel about someone else being there for there child when they couldn't be. My youngest son who was born on March 12, 2011 10 weeks premature spent 3 1/2 weeks in the special care nursery, he had great nurses to care for him because the nursery at the time was not busy. My son was home for 2 1/2 days and stopped breathing he passed away on Aril 8, 2011. I take comfort in knowing that all my son knew was love in his short life. The Nurses at Akron General Special Nursery cared for him deeply. I know this because they came to his funeral and comforted me. So I want the nurses to know that this is not a slam on them. I just know that they can't sit there and comfort a baby the whole time when they have other babies and charting to do. I would like to start this organization in my son's name and call it Kyran's Cradlers. Please let me know what you think.

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slick05

Asked by slick05 at 12:05 AM on May. 29, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 10 (438 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • i didn't read that whole thing, but my reaction to the title:
    i can see how it could be taken (for lack of better words) offensively. but on the other hand, when i was a baby in the nicu my family voluteered so they could spend more time with me. and it was the most care and attention most of those babies got, not only because their own families weren't there but the nurses were mean and careless. i'm not saying at all that parents of premature, etc. babies are bad parents at all. that was just the case at the time and place of my arrival.
    ilovemymonsterr

    Answer by ilovemymonsterr at 12:11 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • ilovemymonsterr, this questions isn't being asked because I was offended, please read the questions and then you will understand. I want to start a organization.
    slick05

    Comment by slick05 (original poster) at 12:14 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • The hospital where my daughter was born has a volunteer program like that, not necessarily just for moms of previous patients, but for anyone who wants to volunteer. They also have people who make hats and booties and blankets. I think it's great for babies whose parent(s) can't be there all the time, and like you said, nurses can be busy with other pressing concerns.
    DragonRiderMD

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 12:15 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • you knwo when i read the title i was like no way no way. but i read the description and i feel totally different. my twins were in the nicu, tyler for 10 days and taden for 3 weeks. my biggest worry about them being there was not being able to be with them the entire time and i didnt want them laying around all alone! the hardest part was when tyler came home and taden was still there for a week and a half, i didnt get to spend as much time with them because i couldn't bring tyler into the nicu with me. i would have loved someone being with my baby, when nurses couldn't be. and i would definitely volunteer for this program. i am so so sorry to hear about your baby. stay strong <33
    ElsaSalsaaa

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 12:17 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • I think it is a great idea. The parents are not able to be there every single moment, no matter how much they want to be. They have to sleep and eat.

    I speak from experience. My son spent his first two weeks of life in a special ICU 65 miles away from our home. We were not allowed to stay with him. During his 22-yrs of life, he was in and out of hospitals. The nurses that we dealt with were fabulous and I know they would appreciate the extra hands.
    SpiritedWitch

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 12:20 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • When my son was in the NICU, my husband and I camped out in his cubicle for 3 nights. I slept in a tiny cot and he slept in a chair. Fortunately, my son wasn't in there long and responded well to treatment. While I was there, I was deeply saddened by the babies who did not get a single visitor the entire time we were there. Most parents were there at least once a day. But there were several who didn't get a single visitor. We were not allowed to comfort these children as we were not the parents and we had not gotten special permission.

    Considering all of the evidence about simple touch and cuddling a baby speeding healing, I cannot imagine anyone who wouldn't want a program like that. I do think that it should be on an individual basis, and significant screening done. A single nut job can ruin it for everyone.
    Busimommi

    Answer by Busimommi at 12:22 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • oh and there was a mom who would come in and she made each baby a name sign for their incubator/bed i have my boys name cards in their baby books C:
    ElsaSalsaaa

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 12:24 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • my son was in NICU 6 weeks , not a premee
    i was there everyday , he was attached to wires and tubes and really couldnt be held for the 1st week , after that he could be held ,
    what you are talking about would be ok if they had special training and disappeared after parent got there with in a couple minutes and didnt have a problem with that.
    It's a good idea , i think some parents would do it and some would not it would have to be a thing a parent or guardian signed up for and approved of in writting i think.


    Sorry for your loss.
    letstalk747

    Answer by letstalk747 at 12:29 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • My only concern would be that the person was carrying germs. I'd also be concerned that there weren't enough nurses on duty. Some babies in the NICU are very fragile and should only be handled by the medical staff or their parents. However, I can see hoe you would have wanted to comfort the baby, and I probably would have wanted to do the same thing.
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 12:34 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • First I'm sorry for your loss.

    Second, I think it's a great idea and something very much needed. Babies need love and attention and it doesn't matter who it comes from. I hope you can get started on this and it's very successful. Good luck!
    GomezMami2908

    Answer by GomezMami2908 at 12:35 AM on May. 29, 2011

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