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Is anyone else terrified of having a disabled child?

I work with developmentally disabled adults and I know firsthand how much work it is to care for people with major medical issues throughout their lifespan. And I see how much they benefit from having parents who care and are involved - which is something most of them do NOT have. I am just so scared that a child of mine is going to need lifelong care and I'm scared of how hard that would be! I am especially scared of mental ailments - I work with a client who is bipolar, has ADHD, and is mildly mentally retarded. She beats up her staff when she gets upset. I'm about ready to melt after being with her for eight hours. I know worrying doesn't help anything, but it really scares me knowing that I might not be strong enough for a life of taking care of a child, instead of a period of time of guiding a child into adulthood.

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Asked by katinthehat8914 at 12:21 AM on May. 29, 2011 in Kids' Health

Level 15 (2,287 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • it worries me but I know God won't give me something I can't handle

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 12:22 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • It worries me to, but like the 1st poster said god wont give me something i cant handle

    Answer by Jssg1986 at 12:24 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • You can never know what will happen, what will make your life harder, what will make it better. You just have to live each day in the best way possible and trust that it will all work out, one way or another.

    Answer by kidnappedbylove at 12:25 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • I wouldn't say terrified. I know the chances are that I won't have a disabled child, so why worry about something with low odds? I do understand where you're coming from, though, and I think that's a very common fear, especially when pregnant. There was a point in my pregnancy when this fear came about and I felt guilty about it. But, my mom reassured me that it was normal to worry. Of course you want a healthy baby, mentally and physically. However, if I ever did have a disabled child, I know that I would love him/her, as I'm sure you would if you did, and that would make a big difference.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 12:29 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • I was concerned about it before the birth of my boys, but thankfully they were both born healthy. I would have dealt with whatever issues came up it they had been disabled.

    Answer by bether89 at 12:57 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • this is something i had worried a lot about. i am an impatient person by nature and i never thought myself as a good enough person to deal with a child like that. then i had my youngest that required breathing treatments every four hours every time he got sick. i was suprised at how easily i handled that. you never know what you are capable of until you're tested.

    Answer by mhaney03 at 1:15 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • Have you been told that your child is going to be born with a disability or is it just a fear? If you have fear because of the disabled adults you work with, it doesn't mean that your child will be that way. You are putting yourself through unnecessary worrying over this. Stop worrying and enjoy your pregnancy, and have faith that your child will be okay.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:18 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • I also at one point worried about it. Now my oldest has autism. But im happy and glad because I can really make a diffetrnce in my sons life. And I know he will love me because im his mom. Not because of what I can give him.

    Answer by Autiziumom at 1:22 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • I have a child that may require life long care from me. He has many medical issues and special needs. When it happens to you though, you don't question how to love them or care for them. You just do it! It's just an innate sense that takes hold of you and you truck through everything. It is difficult, but I cherish every day and am appreciative of everyday with my child in a different way than other mothers.

    Answer by Mipsy at 10:37 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • when life gives you lemons make lemonade! It may be tough on a daily basis to have a child with a disability, but everyone needs love and special attention/care in their own way.

    Answer by daerca574 at 10:46 AM on May. 29, 2011

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