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2 Bumps

Any advice, please.

I'm feeling stressed and I don't know what to quite how to relax. My mil came over yesterday and she says "I want the kids once a week, so the kids can get used to me" Okay my kids are used to her they just never really stayed with her. The thing is how she said it. There are times she has told me her son said I'll take her home from work..only to find out he never said that;she justs wants a ride home. Example she told me her son asked her to buy a pool for the kids and he said I'll take her. (He said he never said it) but apparently its already set in stone. There's been a few times when I have taken her home from work and she will tell me she can't stand black people cause of their attitudes. Meanwhile I'm black and a very nice person. When I told my s/o about how I felt about when she said she wants the kids, he said you know how she is. I know how she is..I just don't feel I have to accept it. Other factors that bother me is that I'm haven't been getting enough sleep and this has gone on over year and I get irritable easy, especially when she says or does something that seems to set me off. I think I'm just getting stressed out and any ways or advice to avoid that would be appreciated.

 
virgo550

Asked by virgo550 at 6:32 AM on May. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,568 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I say if you aren't worried about them being neglected and abused, that you feel she wants to spend time with them because she loves and enjoys them do it. Take a break for a min. Maybe the two of you can start getting along better.
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 6:44 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • I think you are being very patient with her, esp regarding the dumb racial remarks she makes. At least she does love her grandchildren. Hang in there. I think you are a very nice person too.
    blackisbetter

    Answer by blackisbetter at 6:53 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • I would let her have them, but not suddenly overnight or anything. Gradually increase the amount of time, but ONLY if you are comfortable doing that. Remember, they are her grandmother. You don't want to have your kids lose out on what could be a really great bond. Like I said, *only* if your are comfortable. SIt her down and tell her that if she makes any racial comments to your children, the visits stop immediately
    MedicMommy

    Answer by MedicMommy at 8:33 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • I can understand why you would be hesitant, ESPhavibg your children around someone who makes racial comments like that. Does she mean she wants the kids overnight or fir the day? I think you call the shots on whether they go to her place or not not her does your husband understand your concerns?
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 7:32 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • I think I would be a little uncomfortable. If she is saying that black people have bad attitudes, and they are your children, I am assuming that the children are half black? You are more patient than me because I would have said to her that some MILs have bad attitudes. I'd talk to my husband and tell him that I had enough of this and that either he speaks to her or I will and it would be a lot nicer coming from him.
    attap5

    Answer by attap5 at 8:25 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • To answer attap5, my kids are biracial. I don't care if she watches the kids because yes they are her grandkids. But she can be overbearing at times as if she wants to be in control. She has even told me who should be to invited to my own reception and had already spoken to someone about making food for the reception without even asking me what I want to do..Did I go off on her? No. My s/o pretty much just says "You know how she is" So what's that supposed to mean, ya know
    virgo550

    Comment by virgo550 (original poster) at 11:35 AM on May. 29, 2011

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