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My kidsstep mom told me last night that she takes showers with my 7 year old daughter... How would you handle that when you know it is not appropriate???

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Asked by susiebabz09 at 8:00 AM on May. 29, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 4 (41 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • You need to talk to your ex. It's his job to keep his wife in line. If it continues you can either call a lawyer or CPS.

    Answer by layh41407 at 8:08 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • I would be so pissed that i would in all honesty not handle it well....but the mature thing to do would probably be to talk to your ex and have him tell her that its inapropriate for her to be doing that.....i would also have a talk with your daughter about it and ask if she is alright with showering with her SM and see where that goes....and tell ur daughter that she is old enough now to shower by herself and that if she needs a little help then she can ask but nobody should be in the shower with her

    Answer by macksmom716 at 8:12 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • Wait... why would that be inappropriate? If it were a BOY, I could see a concern... but unless there is anything sexual going on... then honestly? I don't really think you can do much.

    Think about it. If they were changing in the same room together- there would be no complaint. If they were in a fitting room at a store together- no one would bat an eye. Public rest-stop? You'd probably insist she was in there with her.

    Since YOU are uncomfortable with it, then be a grown up, sit down and say that openly to the step mom. say ' I'm not comfortable with you two sharing a shower, and I am asking that you respect my wishes that you refrain from doing so'.

    Answer by ethans_momma06 at 8:13 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • I went through this not too long ago with my granddaughter and her father's girlfriend. She's 6 and the girlfriend would wash her in the tub. They only go over once in a while. It made her uncomfortable and she told her dad, who spanked her for not listening to the girlfriend. I called CPS. They said they would call her and ask her not to wash her again but there is nothing wrong with it. There was to the child, she felt it was inappropriate for someone else to be washing her private areas. I'd call anyway, I don't even shower with my grandchildren and would never think about showering with a stepchild.

    Answer by attap5 at 8:17 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • At 7, she is in the 1st and 2nd grade....most are developing modesty. Ask your daughter how she feels about it. I would also talk to your ex about it. There is not much you can do about it...but cross your fingers your ex will abide by your wishes. IF your daughter is uncomfortable with it then push harder about the issue.


    Answer by PsychicSherry at 8:25 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • I would be talking to my ex and putting a stop to it, if she didn't stop then I would be calling cps or my lawyer,someone would make her stop ,she has no right showering with a child that isn't hers , I have a 7 year old and there is no way I would shower with her. and I would be talking with my dd about it to.

    Answer by momto4girzls at 8:32 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • I would tell her to stop (and do it in front of my ex). My daughter is 6 and showers scare her still (she hates water in her face) so I shower with her but no one else is allowed to because they are not her mother. I know that I'm not going to molest her but I just don't trust anyone else quite that much.

    Answer by Octobersmom at 8:33 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • I see where you are coming from, especially where she isn't her mom. I help my seven year old daughter wash her hair and back in the shower or bath but I am her mom. I would have issues if it was someone else.


    Answer by lmv1970 at 8:35 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • There is a difference between changing in the same locker room and sharing a shower with a child this age - especially one that is not your own child. It's like the difference between eating a meal together and sharing a fork, cup, plate, etc... The child is entitled to her own space and shower time. If she's concerned about safety or about making sure she washes herself, then there are other methods to address this.

    I would address it with your ex and with his wife and with your child, and make it very clear that while you're sure that they didn't mean anything by it, you, as the mother, are very uncomfortable with it, and it needs to stop. If they give you attitude, I would ask them point blank why it's so important to her to shower with your dd, and tell them that you will be talking to cps / family court to get visitation changed if it keeps up.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:37 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • I would be mad because that's not her mother. And futhermore she is to big to see her naked.

    Answer by mamaofficer at 8:42 AM on May. 29, 2011

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