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Ugh dont know what to do

My son is 19. He is Bipolar and refuses his medication. Its been a constant battle since we was around 13-14 yrs old. He is now 19 as I said so my hands are basically tied when it comes to forcing him into a psych center or rehab program. Since Easter he has been arrested twice for drunk in public and underage drinking. Both times the officers asked if I wanted to keep him with me, and I said no. In fact one time I sent him to jail myself.

Last night I had a knock at 3am from the sheriff. They had my drunk son who had been wandering the streets with some girl near by house. I told them to take him to jail. I cant handle him acting this way and he is a loud and sometimes mean drunk. He lives with his sister who I called this morning to inform her her brother was once again in jail. She is sick of it as much as I am. I dont know what to do? Tough love isnt working. Does anyone have any advice? I cant put him in rehab unless he wants to go since he is over 18.


Asked by gemgem at 10:07 AM on May. 29, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 42 (148,630 Credits)
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Answers (4)
  • The fact that he's an adolescent is most likely what's making his behavior worse. My brother is bipolar too, and it took him reaching his early 30's for the quarter life crisis to make him change. Reckless behavior is common for a teenager, and the drinking is most likely self medication. You are doing the right things, be consistent and be strong, and advise your daughter to do the same. How is he getting money? If he's getting arrested lately I can't imagine he's working. If he's on SSI for his disorder, perhaps you should contact SSA and have them make you his benefactor? If you control his money he may be more receptive to help. That's how my mom kept my brother under control. While he did smoke marijuana he didn't start getting arrested until he moved out on his own. But he's since been clean and out of trouble (he's 36 now). Best of luck to you.

    Answer by Aneya at 10:22 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • You're doing all the right things-just continue to do that. When they send him to jail for a while, he will figure it out.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 10:15 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • Sister needs to throw him out. Maybe give him a timetable first about what to expect as far as him looking for another place and a job. But stick to the timetable and don't let him wiggle out. I would look into SSI as well. But I would let him control his own money. You controlling it, especially since he has a drinking problem could backfire on you with him getting violent.

    Answer by lilangilyn at 10:48 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • We dont know how he is getting money? I have though about applying for SSI for him because he cant hold a job for more than a couple days. How would I go about being the benefactor though? He lives with his sister right now. Shes supporting him, but does not give him cash or anything.

    Comment by gemgem (original poster) at 10:25 AM on May. 29, 2011

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