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What do you do????

With a 5y/o stepson who wont stop physically hurting YOUR babies.....My stepson comes over every weekend and I am BEYOND over him hurting my babies...the other day he drug my almost 2 year old son a good 2 feet across the concrete sidewalk....today hes biting my 3 yr old daughter and trying to blame it on my son, only the bite marks are too big to be a 2 yr olds....I just dont know what to do anymore....hes been talked to and punished....NOTHING seems to get thru to him....and I REFUSE to continue letting him hurt MY babies!! What can I do???

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:11 AM on May. 29, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • He is jealous and feeling unloved. Perhaps your husband can give him more time without the other children. Let him know he is special too.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 11:15 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • Get your husband involved after all he's his kid and get him to make him stop. If that don't work I would stick the child with my husband and I would go to another room with my children and I would be tempted to do the same things back to him he was doing to the little ones.
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 11:15 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • I make my 4 yr old take care of my baby. He can hold a bottle give her her passie. Talk to her while she is crying. Mabey he will evelope feelings for the babies and not want to hurt them. I usually don't parent like that I usually resort to punishment but this did work for me.
    Kimkh

    Answer by Kimkh at 11:17 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • what does your DH say?
    MommyBoha

    Answer by MommyBoha at 11:22 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • some kids just have ditructive anger. Also try giving him a doll and tell him when he is upset he can take this doll to the backyard and kick it, bite it, throw it whatever he wants and he ill not get into trouble for it as long as he only does it to the doll. This will teach him to not take his anger out on real human beings. If it doesn't work seek help.
    Kimkh

    Answer by Kimkh at 11:24 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • I agree with tootoobusy , but he is old enough not to act like that so if he bites them bite him back bc thats what I did with my son when he was biting and he stopped he didnt want to bite again. Have your husbandgetinvoled if he isnt listening to you. Tell him he can' t go outside or whatever he likes to do and put him in time out until he wants to behave and act like a big boy.
    wildcatsgurl06

    Answer by wildcatsgurl06 at 11:34 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • separate the kids, if ss wont stop make him playin his room or send him over to his father to play with him..
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:53 AM on May. 29, 2011

  • I guess what sticks out is tge word MY. Your step son should be a MY too. If this were me I would request my husband spend some serious quality time with his oldest child and to have a therapist assist myself and my husband on how to approach the situation. As well as knowing that I will not leave any of MY children (all three of them) alone unsupervised. If my oldest is hurting and lashing out then I need to protect all three.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:48 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • There is a great book called BACKTALK: 4 Steps to Ending Rude Behavior in Your Kids. Excellent for all ages of kids. It is a quick read. It explains why children act out in certain behaviors and how we, as parents, can choose to play into it by getting reactive or choose to detach emotionally and take corrective action. It teaches he child to learn that here are consequences to behaviors and that he/she is RESPONSIBLE for their own behaviors. It's a brilliant technique that is firm yet non-harming (emotionally, mentally or physically). It may help you to restore balance in your family's relationship dynamics. Otherwise, resentments can escalate for everyone involved. Author is Audrey Ricker
    DrMomessentials

    Answer by DrMomessentials at 2:17 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • I am going to agree with frogdawg's response and say that the Us & Them (or "him") attitude does jump out at me. This does not mean that I see it as a failing on your part or as if it's out of nowhere---I can understand how challenging his behavior is, and you are in a situation where you are a "mama bear" for your babies & you see him as the intruder that is bothering them, but those feelings & attitudes toward him (and fears & expectations) are all likely to feed into the dynamic of which his behavior is a symptom. It's a situation of resistance inspiring counter-resistance, & a way to get around that is to increase empathy & understanding (dissolving the enemy images.) So I will point back to frogdawg's practical suggestions, because they are proactive & focused on increasing the support & reassurance that your ss needs.
    People who feel good (inside & about themselves) generally are kind, and this is true of children.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 8:06 PM on May. 29, 2011

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