Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

When my daughter does tanturms or when I tell her no she throw attitude for along time what can I do. She bangs her head and also shakes her hands.

she's a very active little girl and very strong willed that's mommy girl. I would like to learn how to disciline the right way and learn to work with her when she does tanturms.

Answer Question

Asked by alfa23 at 12:21 PM on May. 29, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 2 (8 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Ignore the tantrums. She's doing it for attention - don't give her any attention for it and it'll stop after she figures that out.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 12:25 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • Make her do her tantrums in her room with the door closed. We always told both our kids that if they wanted to throw tantrums, that's fine, but I didn't want to listen to it. So they would have to throw them in their rooms, it's not fun to throw a fit when nobody is around to watch lol

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 12:27 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • Instead of always saying no, calmly say why the action is wrong. Her hysterics are a mirror of how you react. She gets upset & frustrated. You need to explain & REDIRECT the action. If she is climbing on something or doing something that she should not, explain why it is wrong (calmly) the direct her attention to something else like a book or a toy or to help you with something. At that age they bore easily and need to be directed to attention grabbing activities. Don't hit her either. Good luck.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:29 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • Typical kid stuff, and trust me you're not alone, but tell her that banging her head, and throwing tantrums would only make things worse, and she still won't get what she's asking for. Explain to her that once she calms down, you "MAY" consider giving her whatever it is she wants. Walk away too, and act like its not bothering you. Once she realizes you're not affected by her outbursts, she'll start finding other ways to throw a tantrum, but keep repeating the ignoring and not giving in, eventually she'll stop. My 5 year old and believe it or not my 8 year old does it too, I'll "NEVER" give them whatever it is their whining about because kids try to do anything to get what they want. Good luck, and trust me when I say this, it'll get better before it get worse.

    Answer by ambr2006 at 12:31 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • If it's a kicking/screaming tantrum ignore it or send it to her room. If she's really mad give a voice to what she's feeling.

    One of the hardest things about being two is that you are feeling and experiencing all these new emotions that you just CAN'T articulate. If we as parents can help them they calm down. I've seen this work with my own kids, now 4 and 7, and also the kids in the two year old room at the daycare that I worked at.

    "I'm so MAD that this toy is NOT doing what I want it to!"
    "I see that you're sad about ______________"
    "I'm sorry you're sad that you did not get to go to the park, but when you _____, we can't go out"

    Some of those may be too long for a two year old, but it WILL validate her feelings and SHOULD help calm the tantrums.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:18 PM on May. 29, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.