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Low self esteem....help!

I have low self esteem/low self confidence. I question myself at everything and anything. The cloud of doubt and what if's loom over my head constantly with EVERYTHING I do.
How can I build my self esteem when my husband isn't supportive or doesn't ever push me to be my best. It seems as though he's always there when I fail though....reminding me of what I said I was going to do, but never did. To say the least he's not supportive or helpful.
So how do I pull myself out of this hole while still being around a negative, un supportive influence? I know your not supposed to depend on people for your happiness, but others can sure tear you down over time!....
PS....my husband doesn't understand any of how i'm feeling.....so it's like talking to a brick wall. I feel lonely and not worth anything, even though I know I have the potential!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:23 PM on May. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Go talk to a counselor who will support you. If you don't have insurance or funds to see someone, domestic violence centers will sometimes give you counseling for free for "emotional" abuse even if he doesn't hit. Good luck. And is it really a great idea to be around somebody who puts you down all the time??
    blackisbetter

    Answer by blackisbetter at 4:26 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • Girl, you've GOT to get rid of that stinkin' thinkin'!! Wanna get revenge on him? PROVE him wrong! Set a goal and see it through. Then set another one.....you CAN do it. I'd like to recommend a book that had a powerful impact on my life and how I view myself. It's called A Confident Woman by Joyce Meyer. Good luck.
    popzaroo

    Answer by popzaroo at 4:29 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • I right there with you girl. I am about to sign up for a counselor just need my insurance to approve it. Good Luck I hope things work out for you.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:48 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • Seeing a shrink is one of the best decisions I've ever made. And here's the important thing, I did it for myself, no one else. My hubby is also not supportive, not one little bit. He's a black and white person, either you're right or wrong, there is no middle ground, and he can't even spell self esteem let alone help me with mine. Being stuck is not easy, so start with the counseling, and see what changes you can make that will start to build your confidence. Also, I write all the time, try starting a journal, keep it hidden so there's no snoopers and it's only yours. Even though it is up to us individually to create our own happiness, those that surround us will impact it. Once you have regained some of your inner strength it will be like a domino effect in a positive way. Best of luck to you.
    Aneya

    Answer by Aneya at 5:16 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • Only you can pull yourself out of the rut you are in no one else can and remember sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me. Let people talk you be strong and tell yourself that your loved by the most powerful entity in the Universe GOD and it only matter what he thinks.
    So lift your head up and take baby steps and go forward. I'm here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on....
    dusty1962

    Answer by dusty1962 at 7:30 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • You guys are awesome. Thank you!!!!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:48 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • I swear i could have written this post...it is the story of my life I swear! and people who say just pull yourself up or think it is a matter of thinking and well whatever they don't get it. I used to have amazing confidence and self esteem and now I am with my current husband and I have never felt so low in my life and I'm not blaming him it is more about how we are living and it sucks big time! My self esteem is so low that even when i get my hair cut into a new style I cannot bring myself to show it off so I just put a clip in and my clothes...I have nice clothes but would rather wear a pocket T-shirt with sweats. If you have insurance go get therapy. I would if I had insurance and then my troubles could be worked out with a professional and things would be better.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • At sime point we cime to a time whete we need to reflect on our importanc re. U r very important. U urself can do something no one else can do. Wat only u know. Mayb ur husband has nrvet gotten encouragrment and thats why he cant givr it to u. Talk to him. Let him know. U havr a voice and u nerd to b heard. Depending on wat hr tells u then take measute on ur husband. I would then takr time for urself. Tell ur husband that u will take for u. Dont give up but niether put up
    Autiziumom

    Answer by Autiziumom at 10:28 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • Anon, I'm ALWAYS in pj's....I always pull my hair back. The only time I get dressed is if I have to leave the house to go somewhere and I only put mascara on then as well....
    Wish we could talk sometime!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:44 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • You should evaluate your support system. Who do you have to talk to besides your husband? Family/other friends? U should work on building up a bigger support system. Get out there, volunteer and make friends! That way, your husband doesn't feel the pressure of being the only one. Also look into getting counseling. It sounds like you have an inclination for chronic depression or some cognitive psychological condition due to your negative thought patterns. This is treatable if you seek help. U can retrain your mind's thought patterns. Let your husband know that he's not helping your situation and suggest better ways of how he can help you. He can't push you to be the best but you can let him know not to say certain things or rub in failures. Look into self-help books on ways you can push yourself to be your best. Confidence stems from knowing that you are all u need ;-) Tell urself u rock everyday!

    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 3:19 AM on May. 30, 2011

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