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How do you deal with an SO who has little ambition?

It's so hard. I could give more details if its abs needed, but I would like to hear how you dealt with your personal situations.

 
DomoniqueWS

Asked by DomoniqueWS at 9:44 PM on May. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Level 25 (23,109 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • For us, when we considered how much we would need to put 3 kids in day care (at time baby was 9mo) he would have to start out at 10 an hour to break even and where we live, not possible at entry level. Bring it up and set a dead line if you think it will work. We are so much happier. My DH is awesome making money stretch so he handles the finances and doesn't feel so left out.

    Also, he has gotten to know the families around here and some of them are okay with him watching their kids so they can go out. Her charges 30$ week per kid during work hours and 20 at night as long as they eat at home first. Parents need the time out and the kids love our kid friendly house.
    cueballsmom

    Answer by cueballsmom at 10:53 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • LOL! He charges....
    cueballsmom

    Answer by cueballsmom at 10:54 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • If you are talking about working...

    I would deal about it by making him my

    X SO

    You are looking at your future... you know...
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 9:47 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • He works but not as much as he should. It's like he gave up on so many things that now he is just allowing me to do what I need to do to succeed, but I do wish he would pull the slack a little more. kwim?
    DomoniqueWS

    Comment by DomoniqueWS (original poster) at 9:50 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • There must be a reason for that...
    Is he depressed....unhappy....

    Communicate with him......seriously a slacker does not pay the bills...is not reliable...the list goes on...
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 9:56 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • Lots of men need a good woman "driving" them to succeed. I thought we had this problem, but then we looked at ourselves in depth and realized, my DH is an excellent SAHM! I like pushing myself to provide for my family.
    cueballsmom

    Answer by cueballsmom at 10:01 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • Yah, I've noticed. And I am like super woman around here, so he knows I will pick up the slack.

    I think he is upset because he lost control of his own money. His credit is shot, mine is excellent so at least we have that, but his is in the craps right now. I am going to get him the suze orman work book as an early fathers day present. He seemed excited about it when we looked it up so maybe this will help?? who knows at this point,

    I have tried motivating him, I have tried being mean, I have tried ignoring him, I have tried to get to the bottome, nada. But since this is the first bit of hopefulness I have seen I will take it..
    DomoniqueWS

    Comment by DomoniqueWS (original poster) at 10:02 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • @cueballsmom

    my SO would be a great stay at home dad too. Honestly he is fit for it. but realisttically, I won't be out of my internship until I graduate, and then I am basically promised a salaried job as long as I continue to work hard. I just need him to hold on until then.

    And the good thing about the position I would enter in to, the majority of the work is crunching numbers, I can be at home to do that, and the only real office hours are when deadlines need to be met everyone comes in scrambling to get data together and to the individual companies. lol it's kind of funny. No one is here but me and a secretary. And once every few weeks, on the highlighted calendar dates, everyone comes in, they hand me a calculator and tell me to punch in numbers. It's a bit of hilarity, but I know I will have that as well and it's a good living. SO I would be okay if he wanted to be a SAHD, just takes time
    DomoniqueWS

    Comment by DomoniqueWS (original poster) at 10:07 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • I put up with it and now I am looking for another job in another state and I broke up with him. Its better now maybe I can find someone like me. I pushed and pushed him but it made me angry and resentful now I am or I was done now I can move on. GL momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:51 PM on May. 29, 2011