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Unsure of Families Motives

My family has always discluded me from things- family, events, birthday celebrations, etc. not so much as saying I can't come, but not acknowledging me of the happenings, and the fact that I communicated with them regularly (every 2 days or so) made it seem even more strange. So about a month ago I decided to stop trying all together, and when I stopped calling, that was it, I recieved not even a are you ok phone call from anyone. 3 weeks later my sister called me and and emailed me out of the blue. Ultimately I thought something was wrong since this is the only time anyone ever contacts me, but she'd said she had recieved an invitation from a friend who was taking her nephew to a birthday party and wanted my son to go along. I'm open minded and I never have tried to hinder my son's relationship with our family, so I told her fine, come and get him. Later on I find out, there was no birthday party, there was no invite, there was none of the above. My mom, dad, and sister wanted to go out and just wanted to take mt son along, but didn't want me to come. I thought this was rather rude but have yet to say anything to her about it, but more than anything, it hurts me that she lied to me. I've never kept my son from anyone, or said anything to anyone out the way. I have since come to a conclusion maybe I am causing myself more harm than good dealing with them, its obvious they want nothing to do with me. This is not the first time, mothers day, my birthday, every holiday or situation has always been like this. Should I just call it quits.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:52 PM on May. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I would.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:01 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • I commend you on not hindering your sons relationship and its cool until it starts trouble for you and your son. I would be torn and was I would think about it and if its not hurting him then he should go but if they are lying then no confront your sister and say why not tell the truth?
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:03 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • I would ignore them altogether for awhile. I am in a similar situation so I know where you are coming from.


    hugs

    momavanessa

    Answer by momavanessa at 11:05 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • I would confront your sister. there is no reason for them to lie to you like this. It seems petty.
    Amelora

    Answer by Amelora at 11:10 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • he already has gone, I found out after the fact, if I would have found out before I would have still let him go because I wouldn't want to let him down I promised him he could go. I'm more concerned about the lying. Im expecting my 2nd son in a month and I was planning on letting my son stay with them, but I can't trust someone who lies to me about little things like this. there was no reason to lie
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:13 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • Maybe they don't like you and don't want to hurt your feelings? Not trying to be rude, but several family members don't like me and I happily let kids go with my sister to visit them.
    cueballsmom

    Answer by cueballsmom at 11:18 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • have you asked them why they don't talk to you at these gatherings, and why they didn't want you to go on this outing?

    if you have, what did they say?
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 12:35 AM on May. 30, 2011

  • I would have to find out what is going on. I'm sure you are hurt, I would be too. Since your sister called you, I would ask her what is going on. I think you are entitled to know what is going on. The last thing you need is for your son is for him to be caught in the middle. I would want to know that he isn't going to be caught up in some family drama that you aren't even aware of. If she doesn't want to talk about it, ask someone else.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:46 AM on May. 30, 2011

  • Hummm, I'd confront them. Find out WTH is going on. Unless you already know why they don't like you?
    I'm not so sure I'd want my kids going off with my family that wants nothing to do with me though. If they will treat me that way, who's to say they won't tell my kids all sorts of lies? Or, sooner or later, they would start to see that they won't have anything to do with me. Sooner or later, it would come to a head anyway, so, my kids wouldn't go. I understand you already promised him this time, I'm talking any more times.
    I'm just sayin, I'd get to the bottom of it. Then call it quits.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 9:37 AM on May. 30, 2011

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