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13 Bumps

Is it unethical to become intentionally pregnant while poor?

Is it "wrong" to have a child when you're financially unstable, in poverty, and/or on welfare?
What if the child was unplanned, but the choice was to keep it (as opposed to adoption or abortion), is that different to you than a planned child?
What do you think?
Would you judge a friend who wanted a child even though she would struggle to support it? What if you knew she and her partner would be excellent parents, would that change your mind at all?
Under what circumstances would you find it okay, right, or ethical?
Or is it just none of your business what another woman does with her body and her life, so long as she takes care of her child and harms no one and breaks no law?

Answer Question
 
MelodieLenora

Asked by MelodieLenora at 11:54 PM on May. 29, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 7 (164 Credits)
Answers (36)
  • ummm, i think im going to just bump this question vs open my big mouth and cause drama.
    babygirl_18

    Answer by babygirl_18 at 11:57 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • Having a kid is no one's business but the mother and father. Personally, I would aim not to bring a kid into this messed up world with little resources or support but that's just me because I know I wouldn't handle it well. Plenty of amazing people from poor parents. To me, it's a question of integrity.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:59 PM on May. 29, 2011

  • I don't know if I would go so far as saying it is "unethical'. But I think it is not very responsible or mature for a couple to get pregnant when they are in financial trouble. Its just not a good thing. But I sure wouldn't tell anyone that face to face. I think the things you say in your question are a little too much.....you could get the point across with less drama. I don't see that it is a legal matter or a matter of "ethics" or a lack of ethics.
    minnesotanice

    Answer by minnesotanice at 12:00 AM on May. 30, 2011

  • Depends on what you consider poor. I vote no bodys business.
    cueballsmom

    Answer by cueballsmom at 12:00 AM on May. 30, 2011

  • Drama, eh? I was unaware that my question might be seen that way.
    For the record, I am not judging my friend at all. I see nothing unethical about her and her bf's decision and things are working out well for them. I was just wanting to see other perspectives.
    Irresponsible does make sense. I wouldn't say immature, though. What if it was a couple's "last chance" to have a baby, for whatever reason? I don't know. I'm very empathetic to people's various situations and somewhat naive, I suppose.
    MelodieLenora

    Comment by MelodieLenora (original poster) at 12:03 AM on May. 30, 2011

  • Honestly, I think it's wrong. I understand wanting a baby, but would you get a dog if you couldn't afford it and needed others to pay for you to have it and the things it needs? I just don't believe in welfare in general, but to have a child you know that tax payers are basically supporting is not right. I honestly think it's a bit trashy. Besides, I'd say waiting until you have money gives your child a better life. Everyone always made fun of the poor kids when I was in school, and they never had as much as anyone else. It IS unfortunate, but money does improve quality life.
    glassfields

    Answer by glassfields at 12:03 AM on May. 30, 2011

  • When I had my son we were in financial trouble. It never occurred to me to not have him for that reason. I love him and he is my son. I do more with him than most of the better off parents that I know. We are better now, but when we were still struggling I still did well for him. It cost nothing to cuddle with your child, tell them you love them, interact with them, tech them love them and nurture them. We might not be able to afford to go fancy places but nothing stops us from going on walks, going to the city pool, the library, play group, the park or anything like that. We might not have been able to have a fancy birthday party at a hall with clowns and a petting zoo, but we had a great time out in the park with friends and family. He might not have had 100's of toys at Christmas but he loved every gift he got.
    Having money has nothing to do with how well you will raise your child.
    Amelora

    Answer by Amelora at 12:12 AM on May. 30, 2011

  • Great answer, Amelora. <3
    MelodieLenora

    Comment by MelodieLenora (original poster) at 12:14 AM on May. 30, 2011

  • `Ok i will answer it now lol I think its that persons business...people needing help here and there and not abusing it shouldnt be frowned upon. Plus, they may feel like love and care is enough.. i know when i was little my dad had money and my mom had nadda and i chose to be with her because she honestly loved me more. money isnt everything or even close to being a big part of life, people who have money make it that way but for people who are mid class barely making it, its about what you have not how many after school programs, camps( or whatever else there is for kids these days) they can offer there children. Some of the smartest/successful people were poor.
    lol I wasn't saying your question was drama i just didnt want to create it with my opinion hope i wont get burned for this :)
    babygirl_18

    Answer by babygirl_18 at 12:18 AM on May. 30, 2011

  • Honestly, I would never plan to have a child if I couldn't provide for it myself. There's a difference in having a child and struggling and purposely having a child and having to have government help to provide for that child.  I struggled to provide for my son, I was 19 and he was not planned.  Even then I worked my tail off to provide for him without any kind of welfare and I did it by myself.  There's nothing wrong with having a child and struggling to get by but I strongly disagree with planning to have a child and planning on raising that child on welfare.

    onemellowmom

    Answer by onemellowmom at 12:18 AM on May. 30, 2011

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