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Birthday Party for Twins with no Friends

This has got to be a rough question and has really hit me in the heart. My husband and I are foster parents and currently have 10 year old fraternal twin girls. They have been with us for 3 months and they have attached well to us and we have great family time together. But their school life isn't that great when it comes to friends. They have lost their mother and grandmother in the last few years and been removed from their father's care, so they suffer from strong losses in their past.

We want desperately to give them a bang up birth day party next week, but we're afraid we won't be able to get children to attend because they don't have many friends at school. We have a couple people that might attend, but it's limited. Any ideas on a bang up birthday party for our girls? We live in rural VA so places like chucky-cheese are out.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:10 AM on Dec. 9, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (9)
  • I understand wanting to make their b-day special, but if they really don't have many friends it may hurt their feelings more than be a happy day. How about taking them out for a super special birthday night instead of the party? Like dinner somewhere special or their favorite restaurant then a movie or a sports event? Maybe each girl can include one friend.

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 9:15 AM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • Maybe take them bowling or something....or take them to the mall and get them a new outfit or for a haircut and makeover.

    Answer by sbastille at 9:24 AM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • I kinda felt like my little one wasnt making friends either so I sent invatations with her to school for everyone in her class and hoped for the best all of them but 4 came and they had a blast!! We went to Mcdonalds and they did everything it was soooooo easy!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 10:31 AM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • i agree with goaliemom i would take the money & have the girls choose what & where they wanted to go & do if you still have them next year they will have had more time to settle in & make friends, sounds like they've been thru enough please don't bring attention to them not having many friends as well :)

    Answer by tntornado45 at 10:51 AM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • Explain the situation to the teacher and the principal. Ask permission to have a 20 mintue "surprise" party for the girls in their class. You can have cheap dollar store party gifts for the kids and invite children in the class to say one nice thing about the girls. Cup cakes for everyone and some fruit punch. I hope that they let you. Also a great family time to show them what and how family celebrates life, love, and ackowledge who they are - great young ladies who have so much to offer. Celebrations don't have to have dozens of people or kids. Remember that foster children have had a lot crap slung their way so role modeling family and love is the first job you have as their foster parents. That you have already done. The rest is just icing on the cake. Think creatively and outside the box.

    Answer by frogdawg at 1:58 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • I really like the idea of suprising them at school - I LOVED when my mom would bring in cupcakes for my birthday. I would ask them too, to see what they would like to do. Maybe they'd like just a special family dinner ya know?

    Answer by Aidans_Mom915 at 3:58 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • I'm going with the moms who said to just do something with them that is special, or even just have them each ask one friend. I don't think that it would be a good idea to force a big party or make a huge thing of it. Unless, of course, they would be okay with it. If it were me I would do my best to make them feel comfortable and secure on their special day.

    Answer by PROGENITOR at 7:17 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • where in VA! me too! i know of places around me...

    Answer by Sandiii at 10:28 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • Thanks all, I think you are right, a nice night out with just the girls is likely best. We are going to do cup cakes (or they actually asked for my husband's blueberry muffins.) for their classes.

    It's definately hard with these girls. The councilor says there will be no real progress until their is a perminate place for them and the courts won't even consider termination of parential rights for another 6 months.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:42 AM on Dec. 10, 2008

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