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4 Bumps

Not worthy of him...

Have you ever felt not worthy of a man?
I've known this guy for 20+ years, we've been friends but recently crossed the line of friendship into something more.
But I don't feel worthy of his love and attention. I feel if I lost a few pounds, took better care of myself. Did this or that - id become worthy of him.

Have you ever felt this way?

I want to be his everything, I want to be his one and only but I want to be my best for him. Right now, I'm not at my best and I feel I don't deserve him. He deserves better then I can give him.

So, what wrong with me?

I've secretly been in love with him for years and now, ... maybe, I'm just so wcared of a "relationship" not working out & losing him as a friend, losing him forever.


Asked by SassySue123 at 10:01 AM on May. 30, 2011 in Relationships

Level 22 (15,173 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Is he a stupid man? Have you known him to have a history of making bad decisions? Does he choose to surround himself with people who are worthless or does he go for quality?

    If he's not stupid, if you know he makes good decisions in life, and if he has good quality relationships in other aspects of his life...then trust him to have made the right decision about you. Remember, you didn't just choose him, HE chose YOU. Out of all the women in the world and in his life, HE chose YOU.

    Now, if you want to do something to fix yourself up, do it because you want to, not because you think it's something that he wants. Remember, HE chose YOU just the way you are right now. :)

    Answer by SelaCarsen at 10:35 AM on May. 30, 2011

  • I feel the same way sometimes with SO after having kids I have let myself go and it seems like everyday is tomorrow I will work out but I never do. He looks great he looks better now then he ever did, and I look worse now then I ever did

    Answer by RedDahlia82 at 10:15 AM on May. 30, 2011

  • I have felt that way a few times. Maybe since you have known him for so long and you like him so much maybe you are scared things can go wrong and not only do you lose him but a friendship. Take it slow and maybe talk to him about how you feel.

    Answer by StephMarie152 at 10:19 AM on May. 30, 2011

  • I have been in your shoes. I had a male friend that I spent a lot of time with. We had fun together, and it was really nice to have someone who liked me for me, and there was no pressure to be something I am not. I figured he had seen me at my worst, and at my best. We are married with two boys. We will celebrate our 11 year anniversary this year.

    Answer by PrdMilWife at 11:15 AM on May. 30, 2011

  • You are valued as a human being w/ thoughts & feelings. You are not valued as less of a person if you aren't a size 3 or have flaws like the rest of us! You need to work on your self confidence to feel better about yourself so you can feel worthy enough to accept love from him or anyone else for that matter. (And remember- Marilyn Monroe was a size 14! We avg girls are not fat- we are voluptuous!) **Hugs**


    Answer by mrsmom110 at 12:02 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • what's wrong is you putting yourself down. you should never feel you areen't good enough for a guy because of your weight. perhaps working on your self asteem is what you should do? before you get in any relationship you need to feel good about who you are. Why aren't you taking care of yourself? why would you want to be his everything? and to answer your question, no i have never felt that way about a man. one thing my husband do is adore me and that is because i allowed him to be the predator, chase me. i'm saying that to say this if this guy likes you and want to be with you no matter what you think is wrong with you he will still want to be with you. i'm no size small and my man loves all of me. don't put yourself down like that. KNOW YOU ARE WORTHY!!!!!!!!

    Answer by mememommie at 12:51 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • The question is do you feel good enough for yourself? Mastering others is strength oneself is fearless.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:55 AM on May. 30, 2011

  • I do understand. I have a great looking husband. Tall, white, green eyes. But me short, mild color and over weightwd from having four kids of his. At times ive felt I dont deserve such a great guy. Hes a wonderful dad too. But ive come to live mtself for who I am. U shoul too

    Answer by Autiziumom at 12:11 PM on May. 30, 2011