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3 Bumps

Family a hot mess. A CPS call is needed but will destroy family dynamic. WWYD?

our neighborhood has a bully. he's only 6 but 80 pounds or so and he punches w/ closed fists and leaves marks. When he comes home from school his mom hands him a juice box and a snack and then locks him out and herself and her infant in the house, protecting themselves from his wrath. (Baby is approx 4 mos old, the barely holding head up phase) In September when he enters 1st grade he will receive a LOT more support, aides, care, etc. The district spent a ton of $$$ on him this year diagnosing all his disorders. ODD, rage disorder, ADHD, and so on. ... the last time he attacked my son he left marks on his forehead and we almost called the police.... and now with school almost out I feel for his baby sibling as well as all the kids of the neighborhood. However if I call CPS and he's taken (or the baby is taken) then any tiny bit of progress he's made is ruined and he might be institutionalized or worse. I am SO sad for his single mother, she's afraid of him and exhausted. She seems to try to do the right thing, she 2nd mortgaged her home to have a private lawyer help with his IEP at school. And now she is trying to keep her infant safe... can she save them both?

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hibbingmom

Asked by hibbingmom at 1:07 PM on May. 30, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 35 (71,876 Credits)
Answers (27)
  • Maybe they can get services if a well check is callef in on them.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:11 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • That truly is a tough situation. Dealing with CPS before, it's a very hard, long, difficult process and it would potentially just cost this mother more money and more heartache. I'd do some digging in community programs offered, or maybe even programs a local school offers (that is open during summer) Some counties have special programs for young children with psych issues, I think this boy may need some intensive therapy WITH his mother and sibling.
    It is possible she can help not only her son, but herself and infant as well but she will need support above anything else.
    chi_moma

    Answer by chi_moma at 1:11 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • As hard as it may be...something has to be done. That little baby is cannot defend his/herself. If the boy stay in the home, that baby is at risk of getting hurt or killed. The boy definitely needs some therapy and he can't get the help he needs at home.
    cmgIII

    Answer by cmgIII at 1:11 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • She LOCKS HIM OUT!!!! that might be the way he got violent. Kids are born basically peaceful and harmless but they are trained to be violent by violent and unloving parents for the most part!!! The kid needs help...maybe eventually fostered or adopted by normal people. I can't imagine locking my kid out. OMG.
    minnesotanice

    Answer by minnesotanice at 1:17 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • Do what you think is right to you. If the family has nothing to hide. It wont be an issue CPS coming to check out their family.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 1:27 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • It sounds like mom is way in over her head if she resorts to locking him out. I would call, cps may have resources available for this child through the summer. Perhaps a PSR facility, and family therapy.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 1:27 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • honestly if she is that afraid of him he might be better off at place that better able to care for him like a group on specializing in his disorders..(my sister has a friend who put her son in one of those places because she was afriad for her other kids)....it was the best decision for the whole family and the child.....
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 1:41 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • Well you have to weigh the options, so 1 child is making several people miserable? He might get more help in a better enviorment that is more suited to his needs,, Bully or not no child should be locked from their own home, so I think you need to call and do it today, with the right guidance perhaps he can get back on track, I think being locked out all summer would set back any progress he has made anyway,, make the call momma!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 2:00 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • If she is afraid of him then maybe she needs to seek some place to place him for help. Locking him out is not the answer. She needs to check the all the resources she can on getting him help if that means a group home or residentual setting then that needs to happen. He may need much more supervision then she can handle. Hopefully something will be done before anything happens. I really do not think CPS is the answer at all. He would most likely be placed in foster home after foster home. It seems like he needs more medical and counseling care. A place where he can be safe along with others around him.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 2:05 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • This kid needs help he does not need to be removed and planted with strangers who may not know what to do with him and end up abusing him. put yourself in the childs shoes what do you think he would want? He would want more help but how to get him that help is the question... The mom also does not need the stress of CPS and they will cause her alot of stress and to the point her baby might become neglected. I have lived in a neighborhood where there was a child with all sorts of violent issues and it is hard but just keep you kids inside and do things away from the neighborhood.
    I would personally gather up resources and phone numbers and give them to my neighbor. she needs help and support not more added to her plate.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on May. 30, 2011

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