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3 Bumps

Did i handle this the right way?

Last night i had a get together with some friends and their SO's at my home. One couple (We'll call them couple "H") who came by to join in the party, Brought their 12 year old son, Who just happens to be friends with the neighbors across the street from me. Those kids from across the street came to play at my house with the 12 year old, in the pool etc etc...

One child from across the street is very sweet. Yet, his brother is very rambunctious and is to be believed to have ADHD. Well, as the night went on the kids got very loud and were kinda making a mess with the pool water and making a mess of the outside. After several attempts, by other adults to keep the kids quiet, couple "H"'s wife began to tell the kids to be quiet and to keep it down and to stop making a mess of the outside. Well, the kid that is very rambunctious told her that it was not her house and she could not tell him what to do. When she approached me and told me that she told the child to go home and that he was not welcomed back until he behaved correctly, I told her that i thought she was taking it too far. She got upset and left and i don't think she'll be back again...

Did i do the right thing?....It is just a child.....And maybe she could have been a little more understanding perhaps?.....Maybe i am wrong?..I don't have any kids of my own so maybe i am the one who does not understand?

Thanks!.....

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on May. 30, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (14)
  • Well it was a fresh and bratty thing for him to say. That's not rambunctious- that's a brat. And I would have sent him home, IF it was my house.
    Saya

    Answer by Saya at 3:37 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • I think you both were wrong. Kids will be kids BUT that dosent give them the right to make a mess all over the place ESPECIALLY when its NOT their house. BUT she was wrong in telling the kid to go home considering ITS NOT HER HOUSE. Either party is acting like your house is theirs.
    shortycmlb

    Answer by shortycmlb at 3:38 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • Uh yeah I would of sent him home. In the end he will know that he can disrespect anyone and get away with it at your home. That does not fly with me.  She was right.

    momavanessa

    Answer by momavanessa at 3:40 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • I think you were right. I would not have been happy with anyone sending a child away from my home without asking me first. It is your home, your rules, not hers.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 3:43 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • I think she stepped over the line only because it wasn't her house. Frankly I would have done the same to the child if it was my house. They have to know the rules at your house. If your rules will tolerate the obnoxiousness, then that's your choice, but I have to warn you that when children learn they can get away with things, it gets pushed further and further. The child was in the wrong period. You NEVER speak to an adult like that even if the adult is wrong. Please don't mistake ADHD with children who are not properly disciplined or taught respect. Too many kids end up on meds only because they don't know how to behave. This sounds like one of those situations.
    attap5

    Answer by attap5 at 3:52 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • I don't think you were wrong, she was wrong for taking it upon herself to handle the situation when she should have just told you what was going on so you could do what you felt appropriate, considering it was your pool. I wouldn't worry about it unless it really bothers you and you don't want to lose her friendship. If that's the case, you could call her and explain why you said what you did. Again, I don't feel you said anything wrong, she did take it too far and was way out of line!

    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 3:53 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • Well by your story you can tell if bothered you as well, I think she feels bad because she was trying to make sure you the hostess were not annoyed, and her child is friends with the kid, I think she did the right thing, what I think was the wrong thing was to have 2 kids at the party whose parents were not invited to it.. the older kid could have gone over there, but I have to wonder about letting my child go to a neighbor's pool with out me there,, I think she did the right thing, and I think you need to call her and make the peace,, sorry not the answer you wanted to hear, but the parents across the street should have kept them at home!!!!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 3:54 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • In my house, it takes a LOT for me to go against what any adult has told any child. To me, kids don't get to pick and choose to whom they show respect. If my child told an adult something like that, she would be stuttering today. It would have to be something REALLY crazy before I would undo something another adult said.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 4:02 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • Well, no you were good she doesn't live their and its not her place to tell anyone not to return. She should have just came to you and let u handle the situation. Their your neighbors and you know them, you know him
    so whether u have children or not i respect the decision. Now if she doesnt come back dont feel bad maybe that friendship wasn't meant to be.
    msavis

    Answer by msavis at 4:12 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • "believed to have ADHD" Why was this even included? If it isn't a diagnosis, then it is irrelevant to his behaviour. She had a right to send him home. You had a right to tell her she was wrong (but she wasn't) and she has the right to terminate her relationship with you. Children are to obey adults regardless of if it is their home or not. I believe you need to talk to the parents of this child and explain what happened in detail.
    hollydaze1974

    Answer by hollydaze1974 at 4:28 PM on May. 31, 2011

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