Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)


We had a get-together at the pool today with several friends and their little girls -- Everyone was told up-front and reminded to bring drinks and snacks for their children (God knows my kids are always hungry at the swimming pool) -- Everyone did this -- except for ONE parent who ALWAYS shows up with little or nothing! Today however she brought a bag of pretzels and ONE bottle of water! SERIOUSLY?? We were there for FOUR HOURS! We all ended up sharing with the little girl who looked sad watching the other children eat chilled strawberries, grapes, and a variety of other foods. But this happens EVERYTIME!!
WOuld you say anything?? Juices and snacks are not free!! UGH!

Answer Question

Asked by BaileysMom476 at 6:47 PM on May. 30, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 20 (9,613 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I would certainly say something! That's just taking advantage of others' goodwill. If she doesn't have the money to bring snacks for everyone (or whatever her situation may be) then she needs to at least speak up - a jug of juice doesn't cost that much. Yeah, someone needs to say something...

    Answer by BryRon at 6:51 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • Maybe she is so used to everyone else pitching in and giving her kid snacks that she feels that she doesn't have to bring much.

    I would pull her aside and tell her that she needs to bring more for her kid and that it is very rude for her to assume that everyone will give in.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 6:51 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • Well...rotating snack responsibility would be one way to approach it. Another would be to say that you wonder if her daughter would like more and varied foods and drinks. Do you know this woman's economic situation? Is she really just a mooch or is she struggling to even bring what she did?

    Answer by Nonoluna at 6:52 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • Yes, she needs to be spoken to. If you are too uncomfortable, just make extra snacks for her.

    Answer by ochsamom at 6:52 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • Maybe that was all she had. Maybe she is food insecure, you know, she's on food stamps, or needs to be on food stamps. It's hard to say. I wouldn't say anything, because I always bring a lot of water with me everywhere, but I don't carry around a lot of food. If I had food to share, I would share it.

    Answer by dwmom2008 at 6:52 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • We do the same thing at our T-Ball games. If you don't bring your snacks and drinks on your turn you have a lot of sad little faces to look at. They always look forward to getting their treats after a game. I'd probably have see if a few moms would be willing to split up the snacks for the missed turn so the kids don't go without. Constantly remind the other mother about her turn when it's coming. Maybe by then she'd be too embarrassed not to be better prepared. Good luck! :0)

    Answer by tools4mom at 6:55 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • Some parents just don't have the money. I think we all need to find it in our hearts to overlook those small things. The little girl should've been invited to join everyone else....regardless of what her parents brought.

    Answer by cmgIII at 6:57 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • It depends on what kind of relationship I had with the mom if I would say something or not, although I would feel angry with her, too. You might find it easiest to accept your friend is eternally clueless and just throw in extra snacks. I wonder if it's really more the principle instead of the cost that you find frustrating. Are there other areas in your friendship where this mom compensates? You might also consider next time saying to your friend something like, "I noticed "Emmy" (whatever child's name is) has needed extra snacks at the pool and I worry that I won't have extra for her. I remember as a kid that swimming made me ravenous for food." If your friend still doesn't get it, then your group may consider not inviting her anymore. There have been times when I didn't bring enough snacks for my kids so my friends generously shared. I just made sure next time thatI brought plenty of snacks and treats for the group

    Answer by LoveHerDad at 7:06 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • She can totally afford probably more than any other person there! I did kinda point out that her little girl eally seemed to like all the other snacks and she just nodded! hello??

    Comment by BaileysMom476 (original poster) at 7:28 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • I probably should've also said that I do ALWAYS include extra snacks and drinks -- it's just exasperating that WE always run out because the same person never brings anything -- and can afford more than the rest of us! If she couldn't afford it, then no biggie -- but she can --- :-)

    Comment by BaileysMom476 (original poster) at 7:55 PM on May. 30, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.