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I have seen this question here on cafe mom and have seen it come up with people I know so I was wondering what ya'lls take on it is

Do children need a bed when visiting overnight with the NCP? Does it matter if they are only there 1 day a month or 50/50?

Do they need their own room? Can they share with a step-sibling, does that step sibling have to be around the same age or the same gender? Can the child share with a parent or other adult?

I know in some states, DCF has regulations on this. My state says that every child should have a bed. If they are COed to sleep there less then 20% of the time (which means less then EOW) it can be a blow up mattress or another portable bed like the fold out couch. However more then 20% they have to have an actual bed, really it can be a mattress on the floor but the big thing is that is has to be a real mattress (not a blow up one or the fold out couch or those foam kid's recliners).

As far as bedrooms, my state says they don't have to have their own bedroom, they can share but there must be a bedroom for them to use and if they have to share it must be with someone appropriate, same gender, no adults unless that adult is the bio parent and the same gender as the child, children sharing must be within 5 years of each other and boys and girls who are not siblings can't share.

Is this reasonable? Do you know the laws in your state? Do you follow the guidelines for your state? If you don't know them and you found out they were the same as my state and the OP wanted to enforce it, would you be able to accommodate that? Do you think they are reasonable?

I found this out because my brother told us he was sleeping on the floor at my dad's house EOW. He was always coming home with his back hurting so my mom told my dad he needed to get him something to sleep on (even a $20 blow up mattress from Walmart). He refused so she talked to a friend who works for DCF who told her he has to have something, he has since been sent a letter from his saying he has to get something and they will be checking up on it.

Answer Question

Asked by JLS2388 at 8:32 PM on May. 30, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 25 (25,280 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • What state are you in? I often wondered about this. My kids are 12 & 11, boy & girl - hoping they'd need separate room, etc. While with NCP, they do.have their own rooms my home.

    Answer by SassySue123 at 8:42 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • I'm in Fl, I think here, as long as they are whole siblings, they can share a room BUT they must have their own beds

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 8:43 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • Do children need a bed when visiting overnight with the NCP? I have seen this written into court orders as a BIG FAT YES!!! I'm in MA.


    Answer by Crafty26 at 8:46 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • I think it is crappy that some parents who see their kids EOW feel it's ok for them to sleep on the floor using the excuse "well the sleep on the floor for sleepovers with friends" but children chose whether or not they want to go to sleepovers, they don't get to chose visitation. Secondly, it's not the friend's parent's job to provide for the child, it is the NCP's job to provide for the child while the child is with them.

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 8:50 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • I wouldn't want my kids sleeping on the floor whether it was 50/50 or one day a year, so I would insist they have SOMETHING, be it a blow up mattress or whatever.

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 9:17 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • I personally find issue with any government entity telling me where my kids can and can't sleep. Hmmm.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 11:01 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • Never been in this situation, but I would think any parent that loves their kids would find a suitable place for them to sleep. Even if that means the parent giving up his/her own bed for the weekend/visit, etc. If they are with that other parent long enough, then bite the bullet and buy a fold-out couch, or get a place with room for your part-time child.

    Answer by klickitykat at 12:14 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • when my kids did visit their dad they slept in his bed and he slept on the couch he was and is to cheap to get them their own beds but most men I know who have visitation do provide the kids their own rooms

    Answer by togo90210 at 12:54 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • mathewscandi, so you think that if parents have their kids sleeping in the garage or on a hard floor, no one should be able to do anything to protect these kids?

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 9:47 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • My state has laws about beds and bedrooms for foster families, but not for NCP or blended families. The courts do however sometimes spell those things out in the custody agreements if parents can't agree between themselves what is appropriate for their families.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 10:45 AM on May. 31, 2011

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