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UGH idk what to do. i want to be close with my family but

my brothers beliefs and lifestyle are basically opposite of mine in some ways.
he says the N word ALL the time IN FRONT OF MY KIDS (theyre only 20 months right now)
he discriminates against all minorities constantly
i dont want my kids being exposed to discrimination and the phrases and words he uses.
i live with my parents so i cant' really not be around him, because he comes over all the time.
and when i say stuff like dont say that around my kids, he just laughs at me.
and if i try to talk to him, he just screams at me OH I CANT HAVE AN OPINION? so tonight im like, i never said that im just saying, this is MY opinion, dont talk about YOURS around me if you wont listen to MINE.

i just dont know what to do anymore.


and then after his family left i tried venting to my parents just because im angry about it and i just really needed to get it off my chest and all they do is make excuses for him "its just how young males are" "hes embarassed" "he just doesn't knwo what else to say" (the last two my dad said and im like what youre syaing doesn't even make sense and has nothing to do with what im talking about) they just make excuses as to why he acts that way and i just omg idek im so frustrated right now


Asked by ElsaSalsaaa at 10:49 PM on May. 30, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 20 (9,139 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Is it possible to just leave with your children when he comes over? You don't have to be around that kind of talk and have your kids around it too. If your parents don't think it's a bad thing and it's their house you can't do anything about it as you have already voiced your opinion about it. You can't make someone stop talking that way but you can limit your time around that person, or get your own place.

    Answer by cat4458 at 9:12 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • He is making it impossible to be with your family. U may have to take your kids someplace else when he comes over.

    Answer by dancer at 10:55 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • I agree with dancer. Take your kids elsewhere when he visits. He is a racist pig and your parents are enabling him. Sometimes, family is the worst to deal with.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:00 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • The answer to your problems is to get your own place, so that you can be a mother and keep racists away from your children.

    Answer by ReneeN1979 at 11:05 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • the worst part is i know deep down he ISNT. its like he dose it for affect. like four years ago he dressed like a "gangster" like huge clothes and crap and then after a few years of knowing his inlaws who are hicks from the country now he dresses in carharts constantly and loves guns and all of a sudden is a "bible thumpin god lovin gun totting convserative" (his words) when like he doesn't act like a Christian, doesnt even own a bible, and before all of this crap of dressing like a hick, he didnt mind gays, and some of his friends were black. like he's totally changed. hes not the brother i used to know, so its even more painful.

    Comment by ElsaSalsaaa (original poster) at 11:06 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • love my own place but i can't afford it. I'm definitely not living here because i want to.

    Comment by ElsaSalsaaa (original poster) at 11:07 PM on May. 30, 2011

  • Can you leave when he comes over? All I can say is that if your parents or your brother can't understand why you feel the way you do, avoid the situation if you can.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 11:51 PM on May. 30, 2011