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My 15 yr old daughter is questioning her sexuality? What do I say??

My 15 yr old came to me recently and said " When can I date?" I responded "When you are 16 and only if you are mature enough." One week later she tells me she likes boys and girls. I told her I dont care what u like, u still cant date until u r 16! She laughed and said "Good answer Mom!" But Im worried, isnt 15 a lil young to identify these feelings. I have no problem with people being gay!! I just feel that young men and women could get confused sometimes. I dont know quite what to do.

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Asked by momofjak at 8:45 AM on May. 31, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 3 (19 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • I would love to answer this question, however dont feel like being bashed this fine morning lol. I just think you should really sit down with her at this point, and have a long talk with her about everything she is saying. Good Luck.

    Answer by bellamommyof4 at 8:47 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • I think it is the age that they start to question these types of things. I think you should continue to keep lines of communication open with her, be supportive of healthy decisions and give her the freedom to figure things out for herself.

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 8:48 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • At this point in time is when a teen questions and starts thinking about sex, if she is having these thoughts just be open and honest with her, don't make a big deal out of it just support her. Having the support of a mom is important to a teen, and don't sweat it, it could be a phase but it could also lead to a lifestlye when she is older, at this point it could go either way. Sit down and talk to her, see what is really going on in her mind.

    Answer by raynebowstarz at 8:50 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • She is starting to come to that age when she is finding out who she is. I had a hard time at 15~16 trying to figure out who I was and fit in. I can not imagine being that age now, must be more difficult then it was 15 years ago! Just always be supportive of her. Let her decide who she is and what she wants. Either way, if she knows you love her regardless, she will feel better about herself instead of hiding things.

    Answer by sunsetbeach81 at 8:52 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • I think most girls go through this. She may be legitimately bisexual or she may just be like most of us and question whether she is or not. Women's sexuality tends to be more fluid than men's, and most women are able to be aroused by other women. That doesn't mean she's gay, it means she's normal lol. If she doesn't want to HAVE SEX with other women, then she's not bi :) If she does then she could still grow out of it.

    I'd just tell her all that, personally. And that you have no problem with it at all. Reiterate that because it could be bothering her.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 8:59 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • Thank you for your help. Ari knows I love her and will always love her regardless of her choices. I say it everyday! I just want her to be happy.

    Comment by momofjak (original poster) at 9:03 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • If ur worried find an older mature adult woman with different sexual preferences like hers to talk with her. Talk to that adult urself too. Ask her how she wanted her mom to feel about it and to say about it. That person will give the best advice ever.

    Answer by Kimkh at 9:23 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • I don't think 15 is too young to have those kinds of feelings. I have a close friend who is a gay man and he said he knew he was gay in elementary school. Be proud of your daughter that she feels confident enough to express herself in that regard. I'm proud of how you responded!

    Answer by Vix920 at 9:28 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • My 14 year old daughter a week ago literally came up to me and said the same thing. I told her I loved her regardless of her preference. She also asked to join the Rainbow Youth Group for 14-18 year olds. Google those groups in your area.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 9:32 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • I think that is a typical age to start wondering. It is when she becomes interested in boys and makes sense that she would question being with a girl, too.

    I wouldn't worry too much. I would let her know that you support her regardless of what she ends up deciding later on. However, I would also let her know that your expectations about sex do not change with sexual orientation...that you expect her to wait and/or use protection when the time comes....whatever your rules are.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 9:49 AM on May. 31, 2011

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