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4 Bumps

My DS has a 2 year old with his SO, and she broke up with him, any suggestions as to how he can get free legal help to obtain custody of his DS?

My DS has done a fabulous job taking care of his DS and the mother is just evil. She has a boyfriend, yet conveniently keeps her things at my sons house to make it look like she lives there. He is a very stable individual, works every day, pays all his bills, and hers ( mean face inserted here) and is absolutely a wonderful father. We have endlessly suggested to him to go file custody papers but he is afraid that if he does this, and loses, that she will keep my grandson from him out of spite. He can't afford an attorney at all. Any suggestions as to how to get legal help with little to no money and what are your thoughts as to how the courts seem to rule who gets custody? He believes that the courts always give custody to the mother, which no matter how many times I tell him they look at who is most able and stable to take care of the child, he does not believe me....exhausted repeating myself to him! Help!

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Asked by dys-shattered at 8:47 AM on May. 31, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 11 (507 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • They don't award custody based solely on financial means or mental stability. I have a friend right now who just got divorced and her ex pays her mortgage (per agreement in the divorce), plus alimony, plus partial child support and she is still struggling a lot financially. But she got full custody of the kids. Their dad wants to go to half custody, and even though he doesn't have time for them half the time, he's going to get it if he takes it to court.

    They will likely split custody between them if he takes it to court. She won't be able to keep the child from him, though... but she could do it now on a whim.

    He does need to arrange a custody agreement. They can do it between them and then have it notarized, or they can go to court. To get free legal help, call the DA's office and find out when and where they offer "free legal advice". Most DAs do.

    Good luck to your son!

    Answer by Ati_13 at 8:54 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • Your son will not have full custody of your grand daughter unless the courts can prove the mother unfit. In there eyes unfit means drug abuse,child abuse,neglect. If she isnt any of these they will not give your son custody. He can go to court and get the regular custody such as every other weekend and on Wednesdays for a few hours,every other holiday. I wish you the best of luck on this but like i said unless the mother is unfit he will not win the case.

    Answer by Amberlovesher3 at 9:04 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • Why do you think she is unfit or do you just not like her/

    Answer by notjstasocermom at 9:13 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • have him go to the county clerks office they will direct him to a place that has free/low cost legal help .......but he will proably only get at most 50/50 ....half time with him /half time with her......

    Answer by cara124 at 9:14 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • If there isnt a custody order both of them have the right to the child. He can keep the child and not give the child back and have her sign paperwork for visitations until he gets into court. She can call the police and say he wont give the child back but by law without a court order the police cannot do anything about it. He can go to legal aid and look into having them help file, or he can maybe get in touch with a paralegal service to help him file paperwork pro se.
    Courts dont always give custody to moms anymore.They go based off alot of things these days. Mostly who cared for the child, who supports the child, who has a support system, criminal records, drug/alcohold use, who is allowing visits or using the child as a weapon, and things like that.

    Answer by gemgem at 9:18 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • Courts nowadays go for joint custody unless there is a reason to find one of the parents unfit. He should file immediately for a temporary order until Court. He can get the paperwork at the Courthouse, and can ask legal aid to help fill out the information. He needs to start documenting EVERYTHING right now--email/text only communication, document purchases for the baby, when he has visits, etc.

    As for him paying her bills and keeping her stuff. He needs to STOP paying those bills and tell her that her stuff is on the porch, and she can either pick it up or it will be gone with the trash. Also, DO NOT give her any money for child support. He can suppor the baby when the baby is with him, but ANYTHING he pays now will be considered a gift to the mom, and he could owe back child support even though he's already paid.

    Answer by laird6372 at 9:23 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • You can see if there is a Legal Aid Society in your area, they offer low cost/free legal assitance to those who need it.
    In the meantime, your son can go to the Juvenile Court House (he can just walk right in) and request to file for child custody. There will be a list of things he will need to do like get the paternity number...if there has never been a paternity test then one will have to be done.He must have a copy of the childs birth certificate. And some other things.
    Once that form is complete and he has all the documents needed, he will bring it back there and there is a filing fee. It used to be $85.00. Not sure what it is now.
    A letter with the court date will be sent in about 6 weeks to both parents. They will sit with a mediator and discuss a custody agreement. Unless you can prove shes an unfit mother, she will get shared custody unless she agrees otherwise.You can bring a lawyer to the mediation if you want.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 9:23 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • Well first of all he needs to stop paying her bills, and he can file on his own, it will cost a small fee, and then go from there, I hope it all works out.

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:24 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • @notjstasocermom She is proving to be unfit, doing drugs, heavy duty drugs at that, disappears and leaves my DGS with people neither of them know, got a DUI and still drives with no license, has not held a job longer than 2 weeks, sleeps when she DOES have the baby, doesn't show up at the times she is to watch him when my son works, and when she does, she does not feed him at all during the day, has left him alone in the home before for a "cigarette run" ...wether I like her or not is not important here, it is the safety of my grandson, and he is not safe with her. He does not like being with her and cries when he is going to be left with her, she even has him call her babe instead of mom....

    Comment by dys-shattered (original poster) at 9:26 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • Your son needs to document, document, document. So do you. Photos, written statements, times, dates, etc. WRITE IT ALL DOWN AND DOCUMENT!

    And look to see if your county has legal aid.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 3:35 PM on May. 31, 2011

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