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I'm not his friend, I'm his parent

I am SO sick of people acting like they have no control over what their kid does. I've looked at people and asked them if they're sure they want to give that to their child and they shrug and with this utter look of helplessness ask me, (ME) "What choice do I have?" or they say "Not really, but I don't really have a choice, do I?"

WHAT?!?! When did this gap in parenting happen. This is a CRUCIAL skill mammas!

You are not there to appease your child. AT ALL. Make them happy, sure. But your child is going to be better off in the long run if you lay down some rules when he's young. But a wide (and extremely sarcastic) THANKS to those of you who are just laying down and letting your children walk all over you. Thank you for that, because those are the next generation of adults that will be the most spoiled people on the planet.

Take charge. YOU not only have a choice. YOU ARE the choice. You decide whether or not your 6 year old can watch SAW movie, YOU decide whether or not you're fine with him playing that Black Ops game which is extremely violent with bad language. I'm not saying you have to shield them from the world. But if it's against your better judgement, then guess what. That is what being a parent is all about. Passing those values onto your children. That child will view the world through your eyes and if you say cussing and killing and eating tons of fast food is ok...then why should you punish them when they hit their friend in school over an argument, or use foul language everywhere, or push away the plate of fruit you actually tried to give them.

The best part is, it's not too late! It takes hard work and determination to get your child back on the right track, but it can happen. You are the parent, and you're far from worthless. Let's start passing on the right attributes to our children.

Answer Question
 
Adeline1210

Asked by Adeline1210 at 9:25 AM on May. 31, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 6 (107 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Good Morning to you Adeline.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 9:30 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • Are you pissed off at somebody? LOL
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 9:30 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • Sounds like your having a bad morning! I agree that there are some parents who are total push overs & simply dont parent but rather allow their children to run the show. You need to find that balance of being a friend but being a parent. If your a 100% hardass on them then that can backfire as well. You have to have some rules & you also have to also allow your child to have options sometimes as well.
    Mel30248

    Answer by Mel30248 at 9:31 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • I totally agree. There are too many parents out there today that worry so much about their kids liking them and being friends with them they forget they are the parent. I have no problem telling my kids or any other kids no and if they don't like it there is no way to guilt me into saying yes. But I am luck enough that my kids understand I can be mom and a friend, just a mom first. They don't realize that by letting their kids get away with bad behavior the kids think since they can do it with mom and dad they can do it with everybody. I am so happy to hear another parent feels the same way I do.
    clumm

    Answer by clumm at 9:33 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • Ummmm....okay.....
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 9:35 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • My mama tells us all the time that it is much harder to make a child mind you, follow rules, be consistent, etc than it is to let your child run wild...and that is why you see it so often. She had 10 kids. I listen to her on this sort of thing. She is 100% correct.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 9:41 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • i agree, you are the parent, don't let your child walk all over you, sure we can be friends to our kids but we must teach them how to live and give them values.
    raynebowstarz

    Answer by raynebowstarz at 9:47 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • Ugh im with you. Im just glad that I found a friend around where I live that dosnt let her kids walk all over her and her husband. They are well behaved and eat well....its amazing when your have a 4 and 6 year old who say they dont like fast food! And both will bring you school workbooks to play with.
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 9:49 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • I agree with all of you, and I do apologize. I never meant to insinuate that you can't also be a friend to your child. I think that is an important thing as well. I just mean that when it comes to the life shaping choices that they may be too young to know what's right and wrong, then they will turn to you...that is when parents really have to step it up. And I agree Mom-2-3-girlz....letting the child get away with things is absolutely the easiest thing to do, and that IS why so many parents do it. You don't have to be a total hardass because that's only going to backfire. I just meant help your child grown by setting the ground rules. Set them up for becoming a great adult by letting them know there are things in this world that just aren't ok.
    Adeline1210

    Comment by Adeline1210 (original poster) at 9:56 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • adeline, of course you didn't mean to insinuate that, and you are right, we do shape their lives so it is up to us to teach them right from wrong, i am glad to see when parents don't let their kids get away with every little thing. It is possible to guide your children and not be a complete hard ass.
    raynebowstarz

    Answer by raynebowstarz at 9:58 AM on May. 31, 2011

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