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I just dont want my daughter to just be a payment, am I wrong for feeling this way??

My daughter's father is a true deadbeat. How can you look at your child and not want to buy her anything? I do EVERYTHING myself. It is a major emotional and financial struggle and juggling act. I don't believe it when people say that she absolutely needs her father and she will resent me. Kids are not dumb and she will understand one day. Kids need guidance, good morals, and good EXAMPLES. Not just any ol' person just because that's the father. My ex is abusive and very irresponsible and the only reason he wants visits is to show off and get back at me. Who needs a parent like that?

 
mizzbellav

Asked by mizzbellav at 11:55 AM on Dec. 9, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (3)
  • I was in the same situation..finally at 5 months old..he left and never called again. I didn't pursue child support or anything. My thoughts were, I do not want to make him be a father, if he doesn't have it in his heart to want to be in her life and make sure that she was taken care of , then i'm not going to make him, a year later i filed to have his rights dissolved..Best thing i ever did! Good Luck!
    sydsmom2

    Answer by sydsmom2 at 12:06 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • no one you know alot of successful people didn't have both of their parents and i know times have got to be hard on you but i am sure everything will be fine your a good mother i can tell just keep going you'll raise a great woman
    jess_is_lost

    Answer by jess_is_lost at 11:57 AM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • I was raised by my mom by herself my whole life. She never got child supp or anything bc back then they didnt even have it like they do now. My ex is a deadbeat too. He didnt wanna pay child supp for our 3 kids and still only has visited 4 times in 11 yrs. The kids figure it out on their own as they get bigger. Our kids are teens now and dont want anything to do with him and now he wants to be around them bc they arent little. Anyway I do take the child supp even if he doesnt visit and is a POS. He was also abusive and on drugs. I figure its the least he can do. BTW I have sole custody of them and have because of his abuse and drug use and he still had to pay cs.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 11:58 AM on Dec. 9, 2008

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