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Are my feelings justified?

I recently ended a longtime friendship and I'm feeling kinda iffy about it now.

Here's the story: My friend was having a birthday party for her son. I was not able to make it because we are in the process of moving. I had told her the week before that I may not be able to make it. After the party, she posted on facebook that she was thankful for all the people who showed and realizes who her true friends are and who really cares about her and her kids. I left her an inbox message telling her that my feelings were hurt by her post (I was just trying to be honest and resolve the issue). She made me feel worse all over again. She was not at my son's birthday party the month before but I would have never treated anyone like that over a birthday party. I ended the friendship because I felt like it was a slap in the face to post it on facebook for everyone to read. Even if the post wasn't aimed directly at me, she was still putting me in that category of people who don't care about her. I feel somewhat better for having ended the friendship because I have went out of my way numerous times for her and I felt like she should've never done that. If she had a problem, she should've talked to me or anyone else about it instead of posting it for everyone to see. Are my feelings and ending the friendship justified?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on May. 31, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • Yeah because even though that comment on facebook wasn't directed totally at you, it was meant for you if that makes sense!
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 10:48 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • In this day and age almost everything gets posted on FB or CM. When my parents wronged me a few months ago, I de-friended them & then posted "for everyone to see" that they aren't the great people that everyone who doesn't really know them seem to think they are. Was it wrong of me? Probably. In the heat of the moment, I didn't care..still don't. Obviously your friend felt justified in posting what she did.

    Even though you said that about it not being aimed at you directly, you still took it as though it was. That's one thing I've come in contact with on FB. I've posted "Stupid people make me feel smarter" & I have people jumping all over me because they think I'm talking to them...yet I'm not, I'm talking about other things.

    I find it crazy to end a long-term friendship over this, but obviously you two have had other problems in the past for you to react this way. If you feel you feel you are justified, that's what matters.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 10:53 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • I agree about everything being posted on Facebook these days but I still think people should have the courtesy to address their problems face to face. We have had many many problems in the past and I finally hit my breaking point. To me, friendship is a two-way street and I was going down it alone....
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:56 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • Women are emotional creatures..thats what makes us all so great :)
    You had a right to the way you felt over her post.
    You have a right to end any friendship that you want.
    But if wart of you still wants to be friends with her...just call her up. Chances are shes feeling pretty stupid over the whole thing.
    Good luck!
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 10:56 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • *want ...not wart UGH...sorry,lol
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 10:57 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • OMG! I meant to say If PART of you still wants...
    oh forget it, you know what I meant, LMBO! Sorry!
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 10:58 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • Hahaha! I knew what you meant too! Thanks for putting a smile on my face! Teeheehee!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:59 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • I think you did the right thing ending the friendship. She knew you were moving, and she should not have expected you to drop everything and go to her child's party. SHE seems to have forgotten that SHE did not attend your child's party - so why call you out on something she did as well? If she was so upset about you not being at the party then she should have had the guts to talk directly to you about it. It was childish, petty, rude and hurtful of her to make that comment on fb- she knew you would see it and she intended to make you feel bad by posting that.

    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 11:07 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • Life is too short to have to deal with haters.......I think you were right in following your heart. Maybe in time things will change, but don't beat yourself up for being true to yourself.
    BTW, Kimberlyinberea..............thank you for making me laugh too!!!!!!!
    Dahis

    Answer by Dahis at 11:11 AM on May. 31, 2011

  • seems like she is a rather toxic person and it is far better not to have toxic people in your life, esp. ones that look for ways to create drama and it sounds like she is one of those people. I would not worry about it one bit and move on, you have better friends than that I am sure!
    2boysnaprincess

    Answer by 2boysnaprincess at 11:19 AM on May. 31, 2011

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