Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do I just wait around?

My SO told me last night he's not sure he wants to be with me. He said he loves me and he can't think of anything negative about me that I'm wonderful he's just having a hard time with my kids because they are not his and he doesn't think he could ever love them like they are his and he feels guilty for not being with his kids when he's with mine. It sucks but at least he's being honest with me. The thing is my mom is moving up to NC on the 26th and I can go with her. I live in FL. now. I just don;t know if I should. He didnt;t break up with me and this isn't the first time he has done this he gets things in his head and it usually takes a few days and then he is fine. I would just hate to walk away from him. I feel he is my soul mate and that is not something I ever say lightly. We just fit so well together I can't imagine finding another man so wonderful and so loving and so on his feet and willing to support me and my kids while I go to school. There are not many of him out there. If I go to NC we Will be staying with my g-ma so that's 8 people in a small 3 BR house. My g-ma retired this yr. so she would be able to watch my kids while I go to work and school. I have spoken to my SO about when my mom leaves if him and I were to split if he would make sure i got up there...meaning he would give me money to do so...he said he would. So do I stick it out and possibly suffer heartbreak later or call it quits now and suffer heartbreak now? Either way i will end up in NC but if i left with my mom I would have help with my kids and if my van got a flat or broke down.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on May. 31, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • wow that's tough. i think i would go with my mom.he does not sound reliable and sounds like he is unsure of what he wants. Good Luck Mama!!!

    Answer by mkdirector2011 at 1:27 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • If he doesnt love your kids, feels guilty being with them and not his then I am not sure what you are asking? He made his choice and there is no way in hell I would ever want to be with a man who told me something like that. There is a Mr. Right out there for you, but this man is not him.

    Answer by gemgem at 1:28 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • Can you do a happy medium like call it a break for a while so he can sort it out? I am getting married tomorrow. My SO has no kids and wants one of his own really bad. He has though totally accepted my 14 year old. If he didn't, I don't think I could be with him honestly.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 1:28 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I'd go. If it's meant to be with him then he will bring you back or follow you up there. Even soul mates don't always stay with us forever except in our heart

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • whether you mom is leaving or not, I'd let this guy loose.
    if he's so loving then why doesn't he care more about your kids?

    he's left you several times then comes back? he doesn't sound that great to me at all!

    I saw get packed up go with mom and find a new life!
    I bet if you start a new busy life it will be no time before you ask yourself "what was I thinking spending so much energy on that guy"

    forget the soul-mate bit, if soul-mates exist, this guy is not it! I

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 1:33 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • Sounds like a hard situation. I've been there and he screwed me over. Hon I'd go with my mom, it's probably a better choice for you emotionally as a woman and mother. Hope everything goes well for you.

    Answer by Monica.J at 1:39 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • please tell me you aren't really serious about wasting time on this guy!

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 1:49 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • "he's just having a hard time with my kids because they are not his and he doesn't think he could ever love them like they are his "
    That right there...thats what would make me leave.
    Good Luck hunny.
    Sometimes the hardest decisions in life are giving up things for the sake of our children.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 2:14 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I agree with the other pps- if he doesn't love my kids, and since my kids are part of a package deal, it's a 100% no go for me. Go with your mom!

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 4:16 PM on May. 31, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.