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2 Bumps

How do deal?

My SD (11) is very into those short shorts but i refuse to let her wear them at my house or buy them for her. I feel she is still way to young and immature. Well my DH agrees but yesterday 2 of SD friends came over (they all wear the short shorts and look like little sluts) my DH says i guess i need to loosen up a little on SD (i thought like letting them walk around the block by themselves or her riding her bike a couple streets over to her friends hoouse stuff like that) he says i cant stop her from dressing like a slut. I totally disagree and told him yes you can till shes 18/out of the house. He says but if i force it to much by the time shes 13 it will be worse for us. How do I handle this shes not my bio kid. I have informed her whens shes here for the summer she wears regular lenght shorts i wont be seen i public with her dressed like that. I think its disrespectful to her body.

Answer Question
 
tomsjennabean

Asked by tomsjennabean at 2:13 PM on May. 31, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 11 (561 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Explain to your husband, it is the responsibilty of the adult to show an example to children..when they like it or not.If she rebels whens she's 13...well..then she rebells and you deal with it at that time. You've set reasonable standards for your household, she should abide and hubby dear needs to care enough for his daughter to back that up. If other 11 year olds were to come over smoking cigarettes and said thier parents allow them too..would he let her do that too?
    Maybe offer to take her shopping and try to compromise on the type of clothing she can wear..you don't have to like everything she chooses but if you give in a little on some things..she may give in too and there will be less of an argument over it.
    What father wants thier daughter to put out the wrong message by showing off their bodies and dressing like a "slut"? craziness, i say.Good Luck
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 2:19 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I have so been there! I am in total agreement with you! I had the same situation with my SD at the same age. My hubby said the same thing. It was so frustrating because I was trying to get both of them to understand why having respect for your body and the way you dress it is so important. We went around and around, and I was always the person who was putting too much thought into the issue. MY SD is now almost 22 years old and she brings up to me, that she now understands what the big deal was and that she was listening, but did not really hear what I said until she grew up. Even if you do no have th support, know that you are planting seeds that will grow and amaze you later on. Hang in there!!!
    Wyomingmama

    Answer by Wyomingmama at 2:21 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • Thank you so much sometimes i feel like im the only parent out of her friends that has common sense. I dont see why they let their kids dress like that. And the shorts i make her wear arnt like even down to her knees they just are skin tight or to high up.Its crazy.
    tomsjennabean

    Comment by tomsjennabean (original poster) at 2:26 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • She needs to know she is will getting the wrong attention and yes as long as she is a child under your roof she has to follow orders, besides there are very cute shorts that are not short shorts, or try switching to skorts
    ttk2

    Answer by ttk2 at 2:41 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I think you should stick to your guns. She is getting to an age where there will always be a rule she doesn't like, or a friend with less rules who she wants to be like, so she might as well learn now that you will stick to your rules and how to live with the fact that just because her friends can do something doesn't mean she will always be afforded the same freedoms. I think standing your ground now might actually help you in the future with her. And it is not cool to have 11 year olds out there dressed like a bunch of hoochies, and you are right to want her to have some self-respect and dress in age appropriate clothing.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 3:30 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • My husband doesn't and wouldn't allow this I would explain to your husband, it is the responsibility of the adult to show an example to children..when they like it or not.If she rebels whens she's 13...well..then she rebels and you deal with it at that time. You've set reasonable standards for your household, she should abide and hubby dear needs to care enough for his daughter to back that up. If other 11 year olds were to come over smoking cigarettes and said their parents allow them too..would he let her do that too?

    Maybe offer to take her shopping and try to compromise on the type of clothing she can wear..you don't have to like everything she chooses but if you give in a little on some things..she may give in too and there will be less of an argument over it.

    What father wants their daughter to put out the wrong message by showing off their bodies and dressing like a "s***"?

    Good Luck and God Bless
    Christmaslver68

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 10:13 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Well I would let her know that if she wants to dress like that then she will be at home like that not in public.
    shannon979

    Answer by shannon979 at 11:49 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • bump

    sherribeare

    Answer by sherribeare at 12:05 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • bump

    budda646

    Answer by budda646 at 9:38 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

  • i dont have a little girl that age but i do have a son that is almost 13 and he is always saying that he likes it when his gf wears short shorts so if i were you i would toatlly wait
    mommyoflogan23

    Answer by mommyoflogan23 at 11:15 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

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