Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Single parent dating....

I am a 20 year old single mom of a wonderful 4 month old son. The father hasn't been in the picture since well like a week before I found out I was pregnant. He won't be in the picture either, long story.. But I love being a single mom to my son, I would just like to get back into dating and maybe find the one if there is such thing.

I'm just curious though, I feel like no man would want to be with me and my son because it isn't their child. Most people I know say that isn't true though. That there are stilll good men out there and there is one good enough for my son and I both..

What's your opinion, I'm sure I'm not the only one in this position.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:43 PM on May. 31, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • of course there is a man out there for you, the fact is - some men don't mind it and some men do.

    Answer by gwen20 at 3:46 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • i think its difficult but not impossible. as long as you are honest and straightforward you will find one. you are young though and so is your baby so take your time. good luck.

    Answer by lambdarose at 3:46 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I was a single Mom until my son was 5, alot of guys were ok with it that i had a kid, i think alot out there do not care, it is so common anymore anyway. My now husband has been a Dad to my son who is 16 now for 12 yrs, much more then his real Dad ever has been. I think you will find someone but i would advise that you be careful about letting your child getting close to someone if you are unsure about the future with that person because it is hard on the kids. you are young and have alot of time to find someone.

    Answer by jenn4443 at 3:51 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I found a good man who took on me and my two kids from a previous marriage (and we have a new one between us now, too). Good men are out there!

    Answer by 1smartcookie at 3:52 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • You are a package now and the guy needs to know that if things gets serious

    Answer by ttk2 at 3:53 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • It will happen just take your time in finding the right one.

    Answer by My3Ez at 3:54 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I'm in no hurry or rush, just felt like my future will just be us..

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:02 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • there is a man out there for you, but be upfront about your kid and adopt a standard rule that unless you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with the man then he does not need to be involved with your child..

    Answer by girlglow6 at 4:03 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I expected it to be very difficult after my divorce but it wasn't. Perhaps because of my age though (39), most men in this range have kids of their own as well, or are used to dating a single mother. That being said, there are good men out there and you'll find one. Just be sure you are honest with them about your child and how he always comes first. A real man can handle this. I met my SO not very long after my divorce and although I was already well over my ex, I was not sure about dating someone so quickly. I'm glad I did see him and we took it very slowly for the first 6 months so that my son never even knew I was dating (he's 5). It was always done when he was at his father's. My SO was great about my son's time being first and when we did decide to be exclusive, I asked my son if he wanted to meet my good friend and he said yes. It's a year for us in a week and I'm glad I didn't pass him by! Your guy is, too!

    Answer by rio_burb at 4:06 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I've been with my SO for almost 2 years now. I have 2 kids, both of whom have ADHD. I dated several guys before him, but he was the one that stuck. Others said they were ok with my kids but really weren't, or were too pushy to meet my kids (my rule was 6 months AND we had to be moving toward marriage), or it just didn't work because we didn't have anything in common. My SO was perfectly fine with the fact that I have kids, and he felt the same way I did in regard to taking plenty of time before meeting them, and he and my kids bonded almost instantly when they met. They have a great relationship, as do he and I.

    So, yes, you can and will find someone. You'll want to be more selective about who you date, and upfront with them about having a child, and always make sure they know your child comes first. The right guy will be fine with all of it.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 6:38 PM on May. 31, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.