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2 Bumps

You or the in laws?

Who should the dh/so denfend? Im the type of person that no one can say anything to me about my husband (disrespectful) or treat him bad. My dh is someone who wants to keep the peace sometimes i wish he would speak up hows your dh/so?

 
whitenena

Asked by whitenena at 3:45 PM on May. 31, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,298 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • tsk tski am the boss lady no matter what !! luckily his parents are very very sweet lol. smart people............

    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 3:52 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • As with NannyB, my husband has realized over time that he and I and our two kids are his immediate family now and must take precendence. That being said, we try our best to have good relationships with all parts and sides of the family. When push has come t shove, however, I think it best that one spouse always supports the other, even if means upsetting another family member.
    Ladymaryland246

    Answer by Ladymaryland246 at 3:51 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • When we were first married, my husband was a lot like yours, but over the years, he has grown into a very defensive role where I am concerned. I think it may be something that has to be learned, especially if it doesn't come at all naturally to begin with.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:47 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I'm lucky that it's not really an issue, I have really great in-laws and we don't have many issues or disagreements. The few times that he has taken their side against me, he's been right and I've been way off base or wrong. Generally, I think that spouses should be on the same team--DH and I even say that to each other on occasion, that it's us against the world :)
    bethany169

    Answer by bethany169 at 4:05 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I think that his top priority should be his wife. But he should try to act as intermediary between his wife and his parents.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 3:47 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • We typically fight our own battles, but if someone is speaking against them in a manner that we find disrespectful, we'll defend one another, then tell the person to take it up with them personally. We don't defend each other for everything because people are going to have disagreements and as long as their not viciously bashing us, we don't see it as disrespect, more of a concern that can be straighened out by dealing with it head on, doesn't matter who is right or wrong.
    DJsMommy610

    Answer by DJsMommy610 at 3:49 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • My ex only stuck up for me once in the 13 yers we were married. My new husband's parents are deceased; hence, no in-law issues.
    1smartcookie

    Answer by 1smartcookie at 3:50 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • haha gwen i got a bosslady tattoo c my hubby and his friends always say consult with the bosslady lol
    babygirl_18

    Answer by babygirl_18 at 3:54 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • Mine goes back and forth while I think first loyalty lies with spouse and children, barring that the spouse is not just trying to be a controlling or abusive ass. It is still painful for me to see him defend his relatives when they do something that is just unacceptable. I'm not talking about just a difference of opinion either. Now I stand up for myself and our kids and if they (or he) don't like it, oh well. I felt horrible every time they were nasty to me or tried their mind games with my kids. I put a stop to it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • My hubs has stood up for me when I had issues with his family....
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 3:58 PM on May. 31, 2011

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