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Baby shower

I am 29 weeks pregnant and my baby shower is scheduled in 3 weeks. My in laws have nothing to do with us. My DH told his mom about my pregnancy when I was 10 weeks and we have heard nothing from them. We are not invited to holidays or anything and they didn't even call on my DH's birthday. Should I have my friend (who is throwing the shower) send invites to his mom, sister and aunts or just ignore them. I don't want to seem like I am just inviting them for gifts, I would like us all to get along and have them apart of the baby's life but I am afraid it will just look like I just want the gifts and that will probably make my MIL more certain we are too young and don't have enough money for a baby (it's not true but that's how she feels. I am in college, he has a really good job with a degree, we have everything we need and plenty of savings and our own home he's 26, I'm 22).

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:28 PM on May. 31, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • A baby shower isnt all about the gifts. Its about getting family together to celebrate the new life about to enter the world. I would send them all invited anyways to let them know you want them to be apart of their future grandchilds life.
    campbellb3421

    Answer by campbellb3421 at 4:30 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • You have tried to connect with them and they have shut the door. If they did come, they would only make your baby shower miserable. I wouldn't have your friend invite them. Congrats on your upcoming little one (c:
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 4:30 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I would send an invitation out of coutesy and respect. You don't have to go out of your way to be rude. You can just send the invite and go about your plans. You never know, you're little spud might be the glue the family needs to put itself back together. Good Luck.
    Bugzmomma

    Answer by Bugzmomma at 4:30 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I wouldnt waste the postage stamp on them. :(
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 4:31 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I would invite them. It's not your fault if they don't attend.
    My3Ez

    Answer by My3Ez at 4:33 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I would just invite them, its up to them if they show up, you tried.
    booger14

    Answer by booger14 at 4:33 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I would leave that decision up to my husband. If he wants them invited, I would invite them. If he says not to, then I wouldn't. This is his family, and he should be the one to have the final say in whether or not they are asked. Any decision you make will be used against you. If you ask them, they will say you only wanted a gift. If you don't invite them, they will claim they have been snubbed. Perhaps what your husband should do is call and tell them there is going to be a shower and ask them individually if they would like to come or if they would prefer to not even be invited. I do not like having to read other people's minds, and I have found that the best thing is to just let them say what they want and then go with their wishes. Since they are your husband's folks, he should do the asking though.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:34 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • This is a tough one but honestly I wouldn't waste the time or postage. My IL's came to my shower and were nasty the whole time. They had wanted me to drive 2 1/2 hours to their house in another town for my shower and only my mom would have been able to come. To top it all off, I had a complicated pregnancy and had no intention of driving to their town so only MIL, one SIL, and one of MIL's friends would attend. All my family and friends were where we lived and it just infuriated MIL. After the shower she waited until I went to the bathroom, then told my DH how rude my family was to her. It was untrue but the damage was done and it caused huge problems for DH and I. There are a lot of things I 'd do differently if I could.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:48 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • i would send them, if they dont want to come they wont.
    brookemhowell

    Answer by brookemhowell at 8:08 PM on May. 31, 2011

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