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What works better?praise/rewards?

Does/did your child(ren) respond better to verbal praise or materialistic rewards? could you please explain a little bit? thanks!

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Asked by mamajojo024 at 5:28 PM on May. 31, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 5 (75 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • My grandkids are very food driven... want them to do something? offer a fruit snack.... :)

    Answer by nybor48 at 5:29 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • It's situational. There is no one answer that fits all the time. A privilege might get him to clean his room faster, but telling him you're disappointed sticks with him longer. It depends on what you're trying to accomplish.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 5:38 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I never rewarded my son for acting the way he's supposed to. I'd praise him but not reward. He gets rewards for over achieving.

    Answer by onemellowmom at 9:07 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • It depends on the kid. My oldest thinks that anything I give him for behavior is a bribe, so if I offered him rewards, he would never go anything without the promise of a reward. It would be counterproductive. My youngest is fine with rewards and will try very hard for something really small.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 9:10 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • We don't do either. My four year old has always been his own critic. When he makes a good choice he praises himself. When he likes his efforts on something he worked on he speaks up asserting how well he thinks he has done. I don't do rewards in general. I don't praise in general. I do ask how he thinks he has done. I also have a habit of making a specific compliment but neither one of us over do it. Such as: I like tge way you used the crayon to show shadow in your drawing. But it is very specific. There are great articles showing rewards and high amounts of praise lead to low self esteem. So I try to let him lead and often hold back unt the timing is right and it deserves a nice specific compliment.

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:41 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • a little bit of both. she is 2 and i love to give her praise and she says thank you. she loves to do things on her own and i try to give her things that she already has. like to color or play outside ect. this way its more about doing the things she already does and she will understand better when she is older that that is what she is suppose to be doing and the special behavior gets really rewarded.

    Answer by lambdarose at 10:58 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I think both,, I think you praise when something good is done, and a reward would be given for achievment, for example,, I think you did a very good job of picking up your toys, if you can do it for 2 more days without mommy having to ask you over and over, you will get to go to McDonalds,, so keep up the good work.

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:08 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I praise my kids for good behavior and use positive sayings . I don't really use things as rewards for 'being good'/behaving as I don't want them to only be good or behave just beacuse they get a treat. I DO give out rewards for jobs well done-- like if they do their chores on their chore chart they get a treat from the treat bucket, and if they have a good report card or some type of special recognititon from school (like being on the honor roll) they will get a reward/prize of some kind for their hard work.

    Answer by MizLee at 10:14 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I like praise. My problem is that I have trouble withholding praise often enough, and I don't want my kids to be like me and want praise as adults, you know how they say occasional praise is fine, but not too much... ummm... even if I don't say it, they can see the praise in my eyes whenever they do something new or difficult or responsible.

    Rewards are not out of the question, but I seldom advertise them like "if you do X several times, you will get Y". They're always happy to get Y, but they don't associate it with doing X, so that sort of reward (or punishment) doesn't work well for us. We will start an allowance for our eldest soon though, if he ever does all the required chores (extra chores for allowance). When it comes to playing wii now or setting the table so maybe he'll get $5 Sunday, he always goes for the wii.

    Answer by Tracys2 at 10:45 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Oh, we do occasionally say "since you did X so well last week, you can have Y today". Sporadic rewards are supposed to be the best, and it allows us to give a reward that we don't know will be available (ie we're driving by the slushie place or she sees a great toy), but without making it seem like they can ask for something and get it every time, because very seldom do we play that card.

    Answer by Tracys2 at 10:46 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

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