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2 Bumps

Am I too bossy of a grandma?

my dd and her 3 kids live with us, and when the two older kids (5 & 3) start to fight, I just cannot sit by and let them go. I have to step in (not right away, but right before it comes to blows). My dd would rather them knock each other around before they are broken up. the 5 y/o is a boy and 3y/o is a girl.
What do you do?

 
nybor48

Asked by nybor48 at 5:46 PM on May. 31, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 16 (3,063 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Well, looking at it from your daughter's point of view it sounds like you are trying to act like the parent, not the grandparent. I don't personally agree with letting the kids get to the point of physical contact when fighting, but it really is the role of the parent to discipline the kids when she is there.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 6:58 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I would stop the fight just as you do.....that said, I think it's human nature to interpret all Grandparent advice or discipline as interferring and unnecessary. Your DD is probably just trying to do the opposite of everything you would do to assert her "control" as a parent. You are doing the right thing, don't stress it.
    Kimedbs

    Answer by Kimedbs at 5:50 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • NO, I think you might be too kind of a grandma,, lol.. I guess perhaps your DD is overwhelmed, or what not, but you can't let them fight it out.. idk,,,,when will they move out? LOL!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 5:55 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • Well I think as long as its your house then go ahead a stop them from fighting. You shouldn't have to listen to them argue in your own home.
    Brandi300

    Answer by Brandi300 at 6:41 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • no way would I let them fight it out. Your doing the right thing g'ma! :-)
    BaileysMom476

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 6:08 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I'd stop it. You are fine.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 6:21 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I used to get into fist fits with my sister, my mom always broke them up. Didn't help at all and it wasn't until we were in our 20's that we even started building a relationship.
    My 2 girls 3 and 6, used to fight like cats and dogs. I started putting them in our play tent, the first time was a little scary but everyone and thing survive until they worked it out. After the third they started to take the hint. I also talked to them about I am not the mediator, you have to figure it out yourselves. That was 6 months ago. They still fight but resolve it much faster and with less issue, I don't spend all day mediating. And they now even sleep in the same bed (they think it is so cool) And I have more free time and get more done.
    Also it helped at lot for me to get in a better frame of mind, when Mama isn't happy no one is, that is so completely true in my house.
    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 6:48 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • i'd stop it. you deserve peace and quiet in your home plus you are doing the right thing by stopping the kids when they fight.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 6:51 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • aww some fighting between siblings is healthy lol. me and my sister pinched, hit, pulled hair...lol we laugh at it now....the first few times i'd stop it, but after a while i'd let them fight it out. that's probly where your dd is....at the point where she's just ready to let them deal with it on their own. my kids are 4 and almost 3...sometimes i just let them at it...in their room of course lol. no need in breaking things lol
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 6:55 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • They are in your house and if she isnt going to stop them you have every right to.
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 6:59 PM on May. 31, 2011

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