Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

7 Bumps

Scene in Restaurant

I'm sitting in a Chick-fil-A. There is a play area and the family in the booth behind me is ready to go. There is a little boy not even 3yo who is begging his mom to help him put on his sandals. She's refusing saying he knows how and he is sitting on the floor crying saying he needs help. I know that kids have to do things themselves, but this is causing a big scene and has gone on for a good five minutes.

Am I wrong in just thinking the mother should do something (anything) at this point to stop the scene it is causing?

 
AllAboutKeeley

Asked by AllAboutKeeley at 6:15 PM on May. 31, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 33 (59,874 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • This is one of those things I can't really buy "you don't know the whole situation" and the mother just letting it continue. Her very young child was asking for help and crying and it's in public. It's not the same as a fit or tantrum. He was crying for help putting on his shoes for pete's sake. If she is perfectly willing to do this in public it makes me wonder what goes on at home. I understand that things happen in public places but it's not right to disrupt and entire restaurant to make a point and certainly not in this case. I don't know what's worse, that mother being so callous to her son when he needs help putting on shoes or that anyone is defending her. Pretty bad.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 10:40 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • You don't walk in her shoes. Maybe the child has a beavior issue she is trying to correct. I try hard not to judge.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 6:20 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • yeah. She could be keeping the learning experiences for when they're at home. Is she going to let the child go into hysterics to try to prove a point?
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 6:18 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • Another instance where you don't know the whole story and you should stay out of it. It it were me though, I would have just put the sandals on, but you never know whats going on with someone else.
    keisha613

    Answer by keisha613 at 6:18 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • You don't know that child and what the situation might be. I will not cave to my child's fits just because it's causing a scene. I will and do apologize to those around me and make my child apologize as well for disturbing them. But really we are always preaching consistency with discipline, why should consistency fade as soon as we go in public? Try to give people the benefit of the doubt.
    Kimedbs

    Answer by Kimedbs at 6:33 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • You are not wrong. She should either just do it for him or pick him up and take him to the car. Why do parents think other people want to hear that stuff.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 6:18 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I don't know her circumstances.

    Personally, I have a child who wants to do lots of power trips to get me to do things for him (he's 6) and will do stuff like that occasionally. I would not have put the sandals on, I would have carried him out of the store eventually though, and punished him later, like "oh, there's an ice cream shop, but since you don't have shoes on, we won't go in" and if my husband was there, get everyone else ice cream.

    Pulling the "public scene" card really irritates me. There are times I think the scene should be allowed to go on, despite the slight inconvenience of the public (I have only done this a couple times, in grocery stores and it only lasted maybe 5 minutes, during which we were moving-- but once they get in a habit, it's worth a few scenes to break them of it). But not every time.
    Tracys2

    Answer by Tracys2 at 7:36 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • i would have let the scene continue, and have before. its simple as this if you let your child get there way when you are out then they will think they can act however they want when you go out. and quite frankly i'm not going to let my kid boss me around. i remember when i was little i was pitching a god awful fit inside of ingles because i needed my inhaler. it was really not that big of a deal i wasnt actually having attack i simply wanted my inhaler right then and there. so my mother ended up just walking while i was on the floor crying yelling and everything else, there was a whold crowd gathered around i ended up getting up dusting myself off and walking to catch up to my mother. i also remember it was the last fit i ever pitched in public. my kids almost never pitch fits anymore because everytime they try it does not work.
    2breath2live

    Answer by 2breath2live at 7:44 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • If it was a battle we were having with one of our kids, I would probably not put the shoes on, but I would take her out to the car without shoes and carry on in there.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 7:25 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • We JUST had that problem at the pool. DS who knows how to put on his shoes was crying he needed help. They are velcro.... Anyway we ended up walking away and letting him carry the shoes. We got half way tot he car and he was ready to sit down and put them on. the pavement was hot. While I was not doing it for him I sure wasn't going to stay there wahil he screamed his head off. SO yeah. I think the mom could have done *something* even if it was putting on one of the shoes and letting him do the other.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 6:19 PM on May. 31, 2011

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN