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2 Bumps

Now I wonder if my kids are odd...?

So I'm reading the post with the woman who let her 5 month old CIO so he'd fall asleep without having to be held all the time. I have no issues... whatever... but I was surprised at all the women who chimed in with "OMG, 5 months is way too young for self soothing!"

I have no idea what studies on this might say, so I cannot argue with them one way or another...but is this true? Because both my babies self soothed mostly from the beginning. It wasn't even due to anything I did...they just didn't want me holding them all the time. They'd enjoy their cuddle time, I'd hold them while nursing of course...but after a few minutes they'd wiggle and squirm so I'd put them down. My first mostly liked to sit in her bouncer and look around and take things in. My son did like to be held a little more, and I enjoyed it after not really getting as much of a chance for that with my oldest. But even he has always been naturally independent in nature. He'd sit and cuddle for 15 minutes or so, and then get antsy no matter which position I held him in.

I tried slings and wraps and carriers. They wanted no part of them.

To get to sleep, I'd nurse to them sleep when they were tiny babies and then sit them down to bed. When they got older, this didn't work they'd eat and then I'd lay them down, give them a pacifier (yes, I use one...for SIDS prevention) and they'd nod off perfectly.

So... are my kids weirdos? lol. I mean, I knew there were babies who liked to be held more than mine did. And don't get me kids love to cuddle and are very affectionate, they just have always liked to have their own space.

And if baby wearing and constant holding is so important, what do you do when your kids just don't wanna? I could have forced them...but that seemed counter productive.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:44 PM on May. 31, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (10)
  • my ds wanted nothing to do with a baby bjorn, and I always nursed him them put him in bed awake

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 7:46 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • Guess my kids are weird also. lol

    Answer by babygirl0782 at 7:46 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I always put my kids down to bed awake - 2 were cuddlers by nature, the other 3 more independent.

    Answer by missanc at 7:48 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • My first three were more independent. My last one, who is 8 still needs to be around me all the time. The others were varying degrees. I think it all just depends on the child. I figure it this way, there is going to come a time that hanging on you isn't going to be something they want to do and there is no turning the clock back. They can't sit on your lap at 23. Each child needs something a little different. I never let them cry it out because babies don't cry just to cry, there is something that they need, even just the soothing. It might seem like you have done everything, but it might be something just little. My oldest had a string wrapped around her toe from a sock that I didn't notice for awhile until after doing everything. If I would have let her cry it out she would have lost the toe because it was cutting off her circulation.

    Answer by attap5 at 7:49 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • when my youngest was born i also had a 13 month old and a 3 year old, so giving her all my attention wasn't possible. now at 16 months, she refuses to be rocked to sleep still and much to my MIL's dismay. all it takes is putting her in her crib at bedtime, giving her her blankie and a kiss and walking out of the room. she's always put herself to sleep and it wasn't by the CIO method.. just in her nature. she must fit into that weird category lol

    Answer by tnm786 at 7:54 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I'm at least glad to know my kids aren't so strange. And I agree...if they had needed the soothing, I actually loved cuddling them when they'd let me. Not that I think CIO is so bad either...I think both tactics have merits depending on the situation. I was just a little worried that perhaps my kids were actually weird after seeing how many moms had kids who seemed to be the exact opposite of mine! I mean, they seem well adjusted and are happy...they are social and enjoy having cuddly moments...but moments are all they are. I can't imagine my oldest EVER being interested in being carried around. lol

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:55 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • No your kids aren't weird. I had both, Velcro babies and some that like their independence. Each child is different.

    Answer by daps at 8:21 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • My 2 year old is like that. I've never had to rock him to sleep. I would put him down before he fell asleep to encourange him to fall asleep on his own and he has never cried about it. He would just go to sleep. If we have a visitor and I put him down to nap they are always surprised. I just say "Give me a minute, I need to put him down for a nap". I change his diaper and put him down and that's it! I return to the room and everyone says "That's it? He goes down that easy?" yes, he does!! So, if that's weird, thank God my kid is weird!

    Answer by layh41407 at 8:28 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • There is a big difference between CIO and self-soothing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:01 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • Thats great actually. Consider yourself really lucky lol My son won't hardly ever let me put him down. I have to nurse and/or rock him to sleep every time. He hardly will let me even set him down by himself just long enough for me to go pee. It's exhausting. But I love him to death anyway, and I just think I better enjoy him wanting me to hold him while I can. My 3 year old is so independant now, he will hardly ever let me love on him or anything, cause he's so busy runnin around playin and stuff. They grow up so fast lol

    Answer by summermail88 at 9:03 PM on May. 31, 2011

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