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Dealing with grief/Dealing with 13year old

My mom just past away and now my 13year old is acting out. I recently caught her with a 25yr old man and they claim they were not together and he had younger brothers and she was talking to them but was with him. She cut a class and tried to lie out of that. Ever since we moved here she has went down hill. I want to move but im stuck in alease. Today she decided to run away and we have been only staying out here for 6months and I have no idea where to look. i called the police and still there is no call or show up from them. She has been gone for 3hrs but it seems like forever since we never had problems. Im lost,confused,angry,stressed and just in a lost of words and don't know what to do. Is this my fault?

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Shonnie714

Asked by Shonnie714 at 9:37 PM on May. 31, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (28 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Well, I don't know how your kid was raised so I can't determine fault. I am very sorry this has happened. Hugs mama. I have a 14 year old and would die if that happened.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 9:47 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I am so sorry for your loss. I don't have any experience in what you are dealing with. You are in my prayers.
    Olivia4116

    Answer by Olivia4116 at 9:48 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I was 13 when my parents split up and then my dad up and moved 500 miles away and to top it all off he was gay! In my head I was not acting out or even getting in trouble, but to my mom I was out of control. Grief and a move is a lot especial for a 13 yr old girl maybe in her mind she is not doing anything wrong even though she is. I don't think u are doing anything wrong or it's your fault but it is not easy to be 13 these days, never mind other things going on. Spend some one on one time with her, do something or plan something she like to do and try to talk to her or at least try to understand what she is feeling
    RedDahlia82

    Answer by RedDahlia82 at 9:50 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • keep in mind, being 13 is hard age in itself. added with grief can make thing alot worse. Hope it gets better
    and just remember...
    This too shall pass....
    juniebug11

    Answer by juniebug11 at 9:59 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • First, {{HUGS}}, I was a 13 year old runaway myself. I went to a park that was not in my area. I slept in a house that was empty for three days. You did nothing wrong. I want to reiterate that!! I am not of course in your daughter's shoes, but I was an ANGRY kid. After she is found, get her into therapy. My mother had to go to court after I was back (I was spotted by someone we know in the park and they called the cops), and she NEVER took me. I wanted to go. I even screamed it and no one in the house cared. I didn't leave because of a single person, but the situation I was in, in the household that I could not deal with.
    techgirl3

    Answer by techgirl3 at 10:14 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • I'm soo sorry for your situation. Thirteen can be a rough,especially with the loss of a grandparent (especially if they were close).. I wish you the best of luck and keep us posted on if they find her. *hugs*
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 10:26 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • kids generally don´t react well to changes. The move was already a big change, and now grandma died. She might even feel like her grandma deserted her (eventhough she intellectually knows grandma died, emotionally, she might feel like grandma didn´t care enough about her). Iwould seek counseling.
    Belovedmoonpixi

    Answer by Belovedmoonpixi at 10:45 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • @red been there done that. When she goes to school it's out of my hands, she's with the wrong crowd. I have talk and listened and I get the same result everytime and now a 25 yr old man and running away. I had the police come and hopely they will do a better job at finding her. I cant drive and cry at the same time. Wishing my mom was here. This would blow her mind. Im so hurt because we used to talk about everything my daughter and I. I have two older daughters and they live 3000 miles away. They are 22 and 20 and they are devistated. Want me to send her to them for the summer. I think I need to deal with this head on. I love her, she's my baby girl.
    Shonnie714

    Comment by Shonnie714 (original poster) at 10:52 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • when she comes back you go missing for about 8 hours without answering your phone or telling her anything...see how she likes it. she is just rebelling over something that is out of your hands. she will soon understand that things are not that bad.
    hismommy6509

    Answer by hismommy6509 at 1:44 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • No, not at all. That man is messed up for being gone with her. If he was right, he would hav esaid, hey mom, look, your daughter has been coming to me and talking about whatever, ya know. This man is not right! I will pray for you. She is 13 and has mixed hormones. 13 yr olds think it is cool that a 25 yr old is attracted to her. If he is. I feel she will be back especially when she starts thinking things through. I'm sorry honey.
    shannon979

    Answer by shannon979 at 10:22 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

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