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i dont know what to do about my ex that owes me money for support

long story short he left me while i was only a couple months pregnant. we managed to keep an okay relationship and after i had our son we agreed that he would send me $300 a month. hes now having problems with money, his living arrangements and his income at work. he owes me over $500. in an attempt to blame me for his irresponsibility he says 300 is too much, he cant afford it he says. the reality is he is spending money on alcohol, drugs, going out to eat, partying with his roommates, has a dead end job... he recently moved out of state. iv tried to file for child support in the past and hes ignored all the papers and court appearances.

im giving him 3 options. #1 he deals with paying the 300 #2 i file for legal child support #3 he terminates his rights, my husband adopts my son and he wont have to pay anything
ANY ADVICE?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:20 PM on Dec. 9, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • well. eventually the courts will catch up to him and he will have to do jail on the weekends.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • I would just let the courts handle the support.. they can take the cs directly out of his pay.
    As far as terminating his rights to your child....I would say no to that..besides that is not up to you either. He is your childs father, if he has no part with your son..then that is different.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 1:26 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • Sounds like you got your ducks already in a row! And that's great that you're married to a man that will step up and be your child's father if the biological father does not wish to be. Word to the wise for anyone else: those verbal agreements for child support NEVER work. I've seen it time after time again with both the mother and the father. It may work for a few months, or even a few years, but because there is no paper trail things will eventually get misinterpreted or get ignored. Get EVERYTHING certified through the court, and follow the court orders accurately!

    redmoonintexas

    Answer by redmoonintexas at 1:26 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • AND to add to my question because i ran out of room.. i think he might get a little defensive if i ask to terminate his rights but hes NEVER been there. he left the hospital only an hour after i had him and has MAYBE seen him 15 times in the 2 years hes been alive. my husband has been there since he was only 3 months old and would really like to adopt him
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • My daughters father sees her 4 times a year, he lives out of state.
    I do not think that your X should have to terminate his rights. I do not believe that it would be the best thing for your child. My daughter calls her father Daddy and my fiance Daddy Robbie. My fiance has lived longer with my daughter than her father, but the fact of the matter is that she has a father and so does your son...good luck..
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 2:02 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • You could see if he wants to terminate his rights then if he don't want to then i would have the courts go after him for the child support. And they will trust me everyone in my fam has been divorced with children including me and ive see n how the state works. And if he's behind you'll probly be getting more than 300 a month.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • You should have filed for suport for your child from the get go...in Ohio all that money that he gave you would be considered a gift and they would put him in arears from the time the child was born as the money did not go through the enforcement agency...it is because of shit like this that there is child support enforcement agency in the first place. What is his inspriration to give you money? The fact that he is a stand up guy? Please, I am sorry but I saw this one coming a mile away. Go file, if he chooses not to see the kid that is his loss but that kid deserves to be taken care of.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 3:12 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • I'd file for legal support and have the courts determine how much he should pay. If he refuses they can garnish his wages (take it right out of his paycheck before he gets it). If he STILL managed to not pay, then, since he is not a part of child's life, and your child likely doesn't have a bond with him, have him terminate his parental rights--especially since he's drinking, doing drugs and partying--not exactly the BEST role model--but your husband sure sounds like a good guy!
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 3:17 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • go to child support enforcement and let them handle it. Once they take your case it is out of your hands as to what they want to do with him. Trust me when I tell you that a verbal agreement between the two of you will go bad eventually. You need it to be legal
    rook289

    Answer by rook289 at 4:27 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

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