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I'm starting to realize I eat to fill a void

Whenever I feel like someone is giving me the attention I want (or need) I eat healthier, I work out, I'm more energized. Whenever I feel like I'm hopeless I eat alot. A week ago I checked the scale and I was 120. I'm hoping there's something wrong with the scale but today I'm 130. It worried me.

I just feel like my husband isn't treating me the way I want him to treat me or the way I want to be treated. YEah he's been faithful and he's done things for me like buy me flowers and things like that, but I don't feel like it's enough. I feel like he's lacking the effort to show me how much he actually cares about me and to show that he's interested in me. Whenever someone does show an interest in me it brightens my spirit. I guess I've just grown up not feeling like anyone ever gave a shit about me because alot of people didn't.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:45 AM on Jun. 1, 2011 in Health

Answers (8)
  • I know exactly how you fee. I seem to be doinf the same thing lately. What I ended up realizing is I need to work on myself. I dont want to have to depend on someone for my happiness. Maybe talk to your husband and let him know how you are feeling. Also instead of worrying about other people giving you attention, put the focus on YOU. Do things for yourself, walk around confident and knowing you ARE a beautiful person inside and out. Depend on yourself to make you happy, because if someone can make or break your day, that is a lot of power to give them. Hope this helps =)

    Answer by AllN1 at 12:53 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Sounds like its possibly more to do with low self esteem than dh but I'm not in your relationship so I don't know for sure. I've been where you are and still get back into that once in a while. I'm learning so much here lately. Mainly through biblical teachings. Some people would argue that but rather than defend that I'd rather people just find out on there on in their own time. I was lucky enough to hear lessons that actually helped rather than create doubt and confusion (referring to those who don't understand it and therefore refuse to learn from the bible) Joyce meyer is a good one if your interested. She has a dvd called battlefield of the mind and another one about becoming more confident but I can't remember the title. Even if self esteem isn't the only issue, even if dh could be doing more she teaches how to be happy anyway. I don't feel that depending on others for happiness or expecting to never be let down by them

    Answer by christina259 at 1:17 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • the way to happiness and to avoiding the behaviors we sometimes pick up to make ourselves feel better. it all comes from within you.

    Answer by christina259 at 1:17 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • How long have you been married? Sometimes people just get too comfortable and used to eachother that we dont feel we have to show or tell them we love them because they should already know. Its an easy rut to fall into, its something both of you need to work on its normally not one sided maybe you can just talk to him about reconnecting to eachother and that you feel you both need to put more focus and attention on eachother and the marriage and take it from there. Do things to make yourself feel good also.

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 1:20 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I agree with the other answers above too.

    Answer by christina259 at 1:33 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I am the same way and know exactly how you feel and unfortunately my boys are just as sensitive as I am and don't like confrontation or upsetting people and don't like it when they feel someone doesn't like them or want to play with them. My husband is always saying that they need to get a thicker skin but it isn't always the case. My husband is the total opposite and can get down right ugly at times which doesn't help either.

    You say your husband is faithful and buys you flowers and things--well my husband is faithful(as far as I know) but he never buys me flowers or anything like that because he says they are a waste of money and just end of dying a couple days later anyhow. I would say if he is willing sit down with him and communicate to him what you are feeling and what is going on. I feel for you for I have no friends and neighbors don't want anything to do with me so it makes me feel that much worse. God Bless

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 8:44 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Don't know if you are into reading but try What Happy Women Know. I found it quite helpful. Your library should have it. Do what is right for yourself. hug

    Answer by whitepeppers at 9:22 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • It's an anxiety/depression thing for me, too. I eat "bad" like:

    --when I haven't exercised lately (I need to for my mood, but if the kids get sick, I can't really do hard exercise I need)
    --when I'm not good with the husband
    --when I feel anxious/guilty, like I'm not good enough, say I've been reading judgmental posts lately, even if not against me & get sad (hi, PP, thin skin here, too)
    --when I feel I haven't done things right with the kids. It's a reflection, end-of-day sort of thing, like "ugh, I can't believe we didn't get the house clean. What happened today?", not something you can predict and fix beforehand
    --when it's been a really tough day and I "deserve" a reward

    After eating, I feel great. More energy, calmer. Bubble baths can't do it. Too tired to exercise late at night. A conversation with friends or a happy husband would make you happy, but I don't have those (mostly). Working on an alternative.

    Good luc

    Answer by Tracys2 at 11:54 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

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