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Out of respect for parties involved this information is kept confidential. Is this for real?

Do teachers call parents to let them know that there is a bully in the classroom and that my child maybe his/her next victim?
DD says that one of the kids scares her. He says bad words and tends to push other kids.
Teacher says that my DD is doing fine that I don't need to be concerned.
What can I do to have the school reporting incidents happening in school?
I know my DD has not been involved but Am I the only one thinking that witnessing these incidents can also be traumatic?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:30 AM on Jun. 1, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (10)
  • The teachers cannot call you to tell you there is a bully in the class and that your child may be the next victim, because that could get them in all sorts of trouble, violating the rights of the other child, and possibly creating a bullying and hostile environment for the child that has been accused of being a bully.

    In fact, my child had some stuff broken into and stolen at school, they found out who did it, and we weren't even allowed to know the name of the other child (the one who stole from her) - even though the child was caught doing it to someone else and admitted that he was the one who did it to my dd, and he wrote a letter apologizing and he made financial restitution for the missing items.

    If you're concerned that she is witnessing bullying, the best thing to do is to talk to her about techniques to deal with bullies, and discuss with the teacher / the principal what she has witnessed.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 7:35 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • No, they do not! Even if you know who it is and say something, they keep it very politically correct and will not refer to anyone by name. My daughter was being bullied by a boy in her class and I knew damn well who it was yet when I spoke to the teacher and principal, they kept assuring me it would be taken care of and that the "individiual" (they refused to acknowledge to me who it was, even though I knew) was being spoken to and reprimanded (he was not). It wasn't until my daughter finally fought back (by dumping paint on his head) that they finally spoke the name. I felt like I was in a Harry Potter movie where everyone dared not say "Voldemort" or something!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:36 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • No teachers can't tell you that but I recently had issues with a kid like this but he was putting his hands on my 10 year old, telling her his mom snorts pills, she came to me asking what it means to snort a pill and I was mad but then when I found out he was putting his hands on her I was furious so I went to school and had a meeting, I just told them, he either keeps his hands to himself or I go to the board, my kid should be able to come to school without worrying about this bully hitting her ,choking her or pulling her hair, he hasn't touched her since, the school has a no bully policy and was upset that my dd hadn't told on him cause she didn't wanna be called a tattle tale (her teacher already had done this) so I explained why she didn't tell them and the teacher now keeps her eye on the boy causing trouble, he was also tormenting other girls in the class, but since I came forward hasn't touched anyone.

    Answer by momto4girzls at 7:43 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Report what? You don't know exactly what is happening, to who, and what is being done already. It's true, they don't have to tell who is involved.

    You just need to keep telling your daughter to get help immediately if she is having problems with any other student, and just ask her questions about her day when she comes home.

    Answer by Christine0813 at 7:48 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • By law schools cannot pass on information about other students. The reason is simple, would you want someone passing along information about your child? What if your child had a medical condition or mental disorders that contribute to the way they behave? Would you want some random parent being told? Of course not. All you can do is act when your child tells you they have been the victim of a bully. That is the best way to get help for the bully and your child. Generally there are underlying issues as to why a child acts the way they do. Either its medical, mental, or they are being abused at home and think hitting, yelling and making fun of people is the way to go.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:03 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • No they don't. When my children went to school (I wised up finally and started homeschooling), there was a boy that brought bombs to the school. The school said nothing, didn't dismiss the kids early or anything. Since it was a small town it got around, parents stormed the school the next day. By the end of the day we had a little note saying the issue was taken care of. Schools are not a safe place for children to be like they were when I was a kid. Sure, there will always be a kid or two that acts up, but it's now becoming an epidemic and the teachers must sit in silence because parents have stomped around saying "not my kid, you can't accuse my kid."

    Answer by attap5 at 9:21 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • There is a website for the school district that have forms for the bullying that you and your dd can fill out and you take it up to the school administration and have all parties involved, the school is taking bullying for serious these days cause of the suicide percentage went up with kids being bullied. The school is not going to notify you, but if your daughter says there one, then you need to take her serious and let the school know, cause the kid can have criminal charges brought up against him.

    Answer by ttk2 at 9:46 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Teachers are not allowed to discuss other people's children with you. You would not want them discussing your child with others. And, I have found that the parents of bullies are very often overly defensive of their children (oh, no, little Johnny could not have hit another child, he's just not like that - you must have seen things wrong). If you don't want your child around this bully, have your child transfered to a different classroom.

    Answer by scout_mom at 10:01 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • if you cannot get anywhere with the teacher then talk to the principal and he may be able to help and give you suggestions on what to do no the teacher cannot call you but if your child is coming home and saying that someone is picking on him or scaring him then there are things that can be done

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 10:06 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • bump


    Answer by sherribeare at 12:04 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

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