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3 Bumps

Reconnecting with an old boyfriend on FB.Should I stop all contact?

An old boyfriend of mine found me about 5 years ago.We have kept in contact through FB.3 years ago my husband divorced me,he felt we got married too young & wanted something different out of life.My friend helped me through this tough time in my life.In the meantime my ex & I moved back in together. Last summer I moved out for about a month but once again my ex & I wanted to try to work things out.We live together & all but seem more like roommates than partners.I took a HUGE chance & drove 2 hours away to meet my old boyfriend.We stayed in the same room & the same bed but nothing happened.I think we are still attracted to one another but since I am still living with my ex husband we didn't want to do something I might regret.The month after we saw each other he either texted me or messaged me every day.I was looking to move to his state & maybe start dating.All of a sudden he says that maybe we shouldn't be chatting until I decide for sure to leave my ex & start anew.So I cut all contact with my old boyfriend & started going to counseling with my ex.I told my ex about meeting up with my old boyfriend & he was distraught.I never knew he cared so much,i thought I had just became a room mate to him.He begged me to go to counseling with him.Things were great between us for awhile but now I can't stop thinking about my old boyfriend.I feel terrible but I wonder if he & I should have given it a go.We dated 25 years ago & there is still a very strong connection.My ex means alot to me also,he is the father of my 4 grown kids.But I want to be happy.I'm afraid that maybe I should be with my old boyfriend.Please help.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:49 AM on Jun. 1, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • You definitely need some me time to figure things out. Who knows you might realize you're happiest when you're just you. Good luck!

    Answer by gutterflower585 at 10:39 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • You need to be alone (no men) for a while to find yourself.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 8:53 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I agree with pookiekins34. If a woman spends that much time as an extension of a man she forget who she is and feels like she needs a man to complete her. Try being alone for a while and figure it all out. The way you are doing it now is not fair to any of the three of you. It's possible that neither one is right for you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:10 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • The grass always looks greener on the other side, ther must be a reason why the 2 of you broke up,, I think for your children's sake you need to work on your current relationship, it is easy to fantasize when your faced with problems, but trust me problems are in every relationship, after the excitement wears off, I think you need to stop all contact and devote yourself to making this work!

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:13 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Being alone for awhile sounds good to me.I have never lived by myself,went from mom's house to living with husband.I feel like I lost myself years ago.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:33 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • After 27 years of a really bad marriage, I finally got divorced. My grade school crush & I stumbled upon each other & discovered we still had feelings for each other. We were each other's 1st crush & 1st kiss waaay back in 6th grade. We went through Jr hi & Sr hi school together. Then, went our separate ways. We hadn't seen each other in almost 30 years. But, we've been together now for almost 5 years. And we are finally living the life we should have been living all along. The true love & happiness that had always been missing from our lives is finally a part of our lives every single day! Love has its own schedule. If you feel you should persue a relationship with the guy, then go for it. The other choice is spending the rest of your life wondering "what might have been". When opportunity knocks, answer the door. It just may be the love of your life! I know it was for me!

    Answer by specialwingz at 9:36 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I am in the same situation so I am going to keep up with your answers ! I do not need to bacause I am married and he was the love of my life so to say.Hope you find some answers that truelly help you I am in need of the alone time to really think things through so maybe one year I will getsome of that lol Good luck hun

    Answer by Brandy928 at 10:07 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • It's up to you if you want to work things out with the ex husband, But I wouldn't live with a ex.
    I'd move out and make your decision on what you want without men confusing you. You may decide that you don't want any men around at all for a while.

    If you were my friend I'd say that it sounds that maybe you don't want the ex anymore. Did you get back with him because you wanted to work things? sounds like you may have let him make the decision for you.

    take a step back and decide what you want for yourself.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 10:09 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I did think that i wanted to work on our(ex & myself) relationship but it's been 2 months & I keep thinking about the old boyfriend.I have almost texted him about a dozen times but keep deleted the message.I do think I need time to myself.Maybe having my own place & making decisions on my own is exactly what I need.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:02 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Yeap I thought the same thing. You need to be alone for a bit and figure out who you want. You havent had any me time for yourself. You have been jumping from one to the next. I think you are picking who you feel comfortable with and not who really is right for you. If you are on your own you may realize that neither of them are who you should be with. They are there for the pickings because they are easy access. You need to be independent for some time.

    Answer by SnapIt at 12:36 PM on Jun. 1, 2011