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He said he feels like we are turning into friends... And then some...!

My Dh weirded me out last night, we got married quickly, and we havent had our kids together but two weeks out of the year...

He stated that he is worried the kids wont get along in the future, and what would we do with their dynamics. He said that he stresses about the kids (my kids) and that when they arent around we get along much better ( i agree, but my kids are with me FOREVER- So he better either suck it up, or ship out!)

Then he went onto say that he feels like we are becoming friends... That I dont hug him, caress him, nor try to jump his bones like I used to..


I have been BEGGING for his attention for MONTHS now, and as soon as IIII decide to close up and NOT try, he bitches.. but isnt this what I wanted for MONTHS? Some attention? Of course, but I feel like his actiona are phoney so I pull away...

I dont know how to take this info- ESP about the kids.. We havent even been married a YEAR! And we have been TOGETHER 10 months. Yes, I was REALLY dumb for marrying so fast.. but there isnt anything I can do now, but try and figure this situation out

He just texted me just now, and told me to forget everything he said last night, that it was stupid.. but how DO I actually just brush that off??

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:12 AM on Jun. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Comments like that should not be brushed off. You guys need a serious sit down.
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 9:14 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I agree you cannot brush that stuff off.It seems you better sit down and have a very serious talk about what your relationship means to both of you, if you can get on the same page, it sounds like really bad to me and it will not get better just worse.Sometimes staying with a man for the kids is bullshit.They see the fighting and feel the uncomfortable feelings so truelly only you know the answer here just do some digging and make your kids n yourself a priority baby cause theres too many fish in the sea lol! I wish you the best of luck and hope things work out.Keep me posted about whats going on .I have been there and done that .
    Brandy928

    Answer by Brandy928 at 9:53 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • sounds like you should get some counseling.
    You don't have to forget what he said, but I think it's in everyone's best interest to not hold it against him. I'd see about speaking to a counselor about it and get a 3rd parties opinion, and maybe some direction on how to communicate better.

    got engaged to my husband before we knew each other 5 months, and married just short of knowing each other 2 years. So when we married we were still feeling each other out, but that can be true for couples that knew each other for years!

    I think your husband was being honest about his feelings and I think that makes you very lucky!

    Try and be patient and work on the communication, I think that would probably be the way to go.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 10:04 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • @its me- He wont go to counseling :( I have already asked him several times... he thinks its a waste of money
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:06 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I think you should encourage him to share his feelings with you. He was just expressing his insecurities. Perhaps you should reciprocate or just ask him what you could do to help. Tell him it's ok to feel that way. We all suffer from doubt on occasion. The important thing is that you are in it together. In his moments of weakness it is your job to be strong. Isn't that how you would want him to react, if you were sharing your insecurities? Hold him. Tell him it's going to be ok. Tell him that together you will get through this, because when you both work together you are more than yourselves... You are amazing and wonderful!
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 10:12 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I am divorcing my husband because of his attitude towards my kids. He started the way your husband did. And then it got so bad, I had to leave. Serious mental abuse to me and my kids. Good luck to you...
    dawny77

    Answer by dawny77 at 10:51 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • The quicker you find clarity, the quicker you
    can make this relationship better or make
    the decision to move on.
    GlitteribonMom

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 3:08 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

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