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4 Bumps

Anyone else think I'm being unreasonable?

So on Sunday we planned on going to my brothers home for a BBQ, we planned to be there by 1 o'clock as this was the time it started. At about 11:30 DH parents show up (they KNEW we had plans to be out by 1 as we'd told them the day before). And it wasn't just a flying visit, they stayed to have something to eat & drink, talk and talk and talk! And I felt it would be too rude to start getting ready whilst they were here, or to ask them to leave, I just kept askingto DH quite loudly, 'What time we have to be there by again???' They did not take the hint, 1:30 they actually left, and we got to my brothers by 2:15. I had to explain to my brother how sorry I was, and why we were so late. DH then has a go at me for making his parents look bad! What was I supposed to say? Should I have lied about why we were so late???

I give up :(


Asked by Anonymous at 9:41 AM on Jun. 1, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • No, he doesn't have a right to be mad that you made his parents look bad. His parents made themselves look bad. Your DH should have said something to them that you had plans and he was glad they stopped by, but could they come over another time and finish the visit. Lying never gets anywhere and just to cover up someone's rudeness is ridiculous to do.

    Answer by attap5 at 9:44 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I think the hint you dropped should have been sufficient. His parents should have been more considerent.

    Answer by Dahis at 9:44 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I think you should have just told your in laws that you had plans and needed be somewhere by 1 and let them know they can stay and visit with their grandchildren but you would be busy getting ready to prepare to leave.

    Answer by Syphon at 9:45 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I would have started getting ready to go while they were there. You had already told them about your previous commitments and it was rude of them to show up expecting you to feed them. And, yes, I would have explained why you were late.

    Answer by scout_mom at 9:45 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • You should hve told his parents when they got there that you had plans, sorry, but it would have to be a quick visit.
    Actually, your hubby should have said something. And they should have gotten the hint. Or never come over in the first place if they knew you were going out.

    Answer by Nicoles2LilRams at 9:46 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I would have reminded his parents we had plans and needed to get ready.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 9:42 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I would have said respectfully we have prior engagments and you have to be there by a certain time so not being rude welcome back anytime but I gotta get ready and go family first .

    Answer by Brandy928 at 9:45 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • well i'm sure if it was the other way around, he would of been annoyed with your parents staying too long.

    your not being unreasonable at the least. I think he just didnt see it as an important event to arrive at that certain time you had said. You could tell him that he would of been annoyed with it if it was the other way around, some people need to put themselves in other's shoes to realize its not all about them and plus they could of picked another day to come to your house without a time limit.

    Answer by americansugar80 at 9:48 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I don't think you where in the wrong for telling your brother why you were late. Next time I might say something to my in laws like "I'm really glad you came to visit we have to leave by 1:00 so I am going to start getting ready." I would have then started to get things ready for leaving & still talked to them while i was getting ready. I don't think it would be rude to remind them of your plans and if they choose to stay then that is their choice. You can still get ready while they are there.

    I would also explain to DH why you told your brother what you did & I would also explain to him that next time you have plans and his parents show up could he please remind them that you have to leave. Lastly, you weren't that late and while I agree that explaining to your brother is the right thing to do, I also think I would have just made the best of it. I might have said "sorry we are late my in laws showed up" & left it that

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 9:48 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • no, you weren't unreasonable in either scenario. first you catered to his parents then you told the truth to your brother. your dh should have been more understanding. i would've started getting ready while they were still there and politely explained you had somewhere to be at 1.

    Answer by tnm786 at 9:54 AM on Jun. 1, 2011