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What do you know about a deadbeat dad?

My son is 8 mos old. His father does not acknowleged him and acts as if he doesn't exsit. He pays child support because he never answer for a paternity test or dispute anything he even has an court appointed attorney that he refuses to talk with. He has since gotten married and claims his step-son as his own. Everybody tells me that because he is 26 I am 30 that over time he will want to know his son, that he is still a young man that obviously is immature. Child support even told me when they found out how old he was, that by expiernce as he gets older he most likely will have a change of heart. Has anyone had a similar expiernce either way? My own expiernce tells me different, I never met my dad and reached out to him and it was not a fairytale.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Jun. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I don't know what to tell you my Daughters Dad is 33 and a deadbeat.
    KyliesMom5

    Answer by KyliesMom5 at 10:45 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • It is an individual thing...........every man is different.
    Dahis

    Answer by Dahis at 10:52 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Not always the case. I think it just depends on the guy. My DH's father walked out on his mother before he was born. She chased him all over for child support. Every time the state caught up with him he quit his job and moved. Even now, and my DH is almost 30, they have spoken maybe two or three times and met only once. He has not even talked to my DH in three years. I think he only even met with DH because he got pressure from a family member. When we met him and talked to his other adult children, I knew he dodged a bullet. That "man's" children told DH he was lucky to have not had their father's influence. Maturity doesn't always have much to do with age.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Since when is a man of 26 regarded as young and immature??
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:46 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Honestly, I think it has nothing to do with age. When my ex and I divorced, I was 24 and he was 23. We are now 32 and 31, and he hasn't seen the kids in over 6 years and hasn't paid child support in almost as long. He never changes. He is living with another woman and helping her raise her child. It pisses me off that he will take care of a child that isn't his but completely ignores the ones he helped create, but I'm not going to force him to be a part of their lives. My kids deserve better than a father who only comes around because someone holds a gun to his head. We now live with my SO and he has done so much more for them than their father ever did. And even without him, my kids always had my dad, my uncles, male cousins, and a few male friends and some of my friends husbands.

    Your baby's father might change as he ages, but I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for that. Plan your, and your son's, life without him.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 11:47 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • The quicker you find clarity, the quicker you
    can make this relationship better or make
    the decision to move on.
    GlitteribonMom

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 2:54 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

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