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My son doesn't want to clean his room but will do chores. Why?

I can't get him to clean his room but will do chores when asked to. I don't know why.


Asked by shannon979 at 10:54 AM on Jun. 1, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 9 (364 Credits)
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Answers (9)
  • I was the same way, the PP explained it in a way I never considered at the time. I loved to do a chore to help out or earn money (I'd clean the whole house happily for very little), but my room... I wanted it my way. I felt safer and happier with all my things around me so I could see them... like a little nest. I am not that way so much now, but I still like a few things.

    When I was forced to clean my room, I'd do the least humanly possible, the slowest possible to avoid punishment, and I'd undo it as soon as I could. But I'd happily clean a toilet or scrub a floor. Just not in my room.

    Answer by Tracys2 at 11:04 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • because he is claiming his room as his territory.....that room is him. Its about claiming some kind of control over his life and all the changes going on. My teen is the same...hes almost 18. i will clean his room really nice and he immediately goes and spreads his clothes on the floor. Endless battle so I let him have his space....except sheets and stuff....dishes have to come out and be cleaned. teach him about pride and if he cleans his room it is still his and he has made the choice..not you.. His choice.

    Answer by Momforhealth at 10:59 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Thanks. That is what our counselor said. I just wanted a mom point of view. Thank you alot.

    Comment by shannon979 (original poster) at 11:01 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I was actually thinking maybe because the room is too general. He gets overwhelmed where to start. With a specifc chore it makes it easier.

    Answer by J9Mommy at 11:11 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I would be overwhelmed to if I were my son. If you could only see his room. Holy Wow!!!

    Comment by shannon979 (original poster) at 11:17 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • bump


    Answer by sherribeare at 12:02 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • My 4 older kids are the exact same way (they are 5, 8, 9 and 10). They will usually do any other chores with little to no complaint but tell them to clean up their rooms and it's like I asked them to gnaw off their own arms or something. Geesh. And sometimes the rooms aren't even that bad... just clothes and books all over the place. If they'd quit whining it would take like 20 minutes tops to put everything up but instead they spend a couple hours screwing around and crying about it. Oy.
    And when they do buckle down and do it then it rarely takes them long. They drive me nuts.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 3:31 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Oh gosh your not kidding! It doesn't matter what you take away or ground or what. Drives me nuts too!

    Comment by shannon979 (original poster) at 8:07 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • its there space thats how my dd is she will ahve it a mess til her friends come over then she wants to clean lol hey if she likes it i love it!!! she has to sleepin there not me

    Answer by budda646 at 9:32 PM on Jun. 3, 2011