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2 Bumps

OOOH i felt so bad.....

Yesterday after my son's baseball game, my dh and i were talking to some of the parents. Of course everyones kids are sort of lingering around waiting to go home. This one mom who was there was wearing a tee shirt with a picture of her brother who just passed away. (You know the ones with the birth and death dates on them) Anyway my 8 year old dd was looking and the mom noticed and said "oh are you looking at my shirt?" My 8 yr old said yes and the woman explained it was her brother and that he passed very recently. Well of course dd goes right to "wow how did he die?" The mom said they didn't know yet and that she still can't really talk about it without crying. OMG! so why does dd ask the woman WHY she can't talk about it. I know she's only 8 but i also know she must have missed "the look" i gave her after her first question which meant ENOUGH WITH THE QUESTIONS! I realize i raise my children with an accepting and understanding attitude towards death. We have an open communication about it . But we also instill manners into them and i feel bad like my dd was inappropriate. I also feel like its MY fault. My dd has never been typical, she's like an "old soul." Always too smart for her own good and always wanting to know about things far above her level. Example when i was in nursing school she was always looking through my books trying to learn things. She also has asked on occasion to watch "Dr. G" idk if you all are familiar but its a REAL autopsy show. Anyway i explained i'd rather her not because i didn't want her getting "desensitized" towards death and dying. She then explained that she understands but also sees it as educational. So i told her depending on the episode we would watch it TOGETHER, and we have on occasion. Do you think by doing this and maybe educating too much on the subject has or is starting to make her numb to these things? I don't want her to be one of those strange people that eventhough they are sooo smart they don't notice others' feelings. Or hopefully i'm just waaaay overthinking the whole situation, its just she could NOT get how her prying answers out of the woman would be inappropriate.

 
Genice6

Asked by Genice6 at 11:17 AM on Jun. 1, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 14 (1,450 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • It's perfectly normal for a kid to be curious about death, and I don't think your DD was too out of line. After all, the woman was advertising it, basically, and if she knew she couldn't talk about it without crying, then she shouldn't have worn the shirt. JMO.
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 11:44 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • The lady was advertising the situation, so I'm sure she expected questions. I don't think your DD was entirely inappropriate, just being a kid. If it was such a new situation, that she hadn't dealt with yet, the lady shouldn't have been wearing the shirt. I'm all for manners and maybe you could Tell your DD that next time she should say something like, "I'm sorry about your brother," but don't stiffle her curiosity; it's a good thing.
    Kimedbs

    Answer by Kimedbs at 11:27 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • The lady was wearing the shirt because she knew it would draw attention to her. She can’t wear that shirt and then say i don’t want to talk about it. Your child did nothing wrong. I think wearing a shirt like that is inappropriate. She knew she was wearing it to a kid's game.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 11:31 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • i don't think your dd was rude. the lady asked your dd if she was curious so openned herself up to the questions herself. I think she IS looking for someone to talk to and needs to vent, but realized a little too late an eight year old is not the appropriate person to discuss it with.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:11 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • You're right i thought the same thing don't advertise with the shirt if you're not ready to talk about it.
    Genice6

    Comment by Genice6 (original poster) at 11:29 AM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I don't think you should feel bad. Your DD was curious and the woman was wearing it right on the shirt which is sure to draw questions.
    KamiB79

    Answer by KamiB79 at 8:14 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I don't think it was inappropriate, she was just asking a question, similar to what an adult would when someone seems open to conversation. She was wearing a shirt after all. Sounds ot me like your child is one that can handle things that other kids her age cannot and I don't see anything wrong with being honest and open with her about things.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 9:52 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I started to answer that she was just being a kid, because they are very open and don't just automatically understand nuances of social behaviors, but the thing about wanting to watch an autopsy show, (never heard of Dr. G, but apparently that's what it is) seems like maybe she's a little overly interested in death. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I'd ask her if she has any questions, fears, etc.
    elasmimi

    Answer by elasmimi at 7:57 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I agree with the first answer.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 8:48 AM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I agree with the first answe.r
    Samanthamommy

    Answer by Samanthamommy at 4:46 PM on Jun. 2, 2011