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3 Bumps

How do I tell her to leave without seeming mean?

This girl..I guess we could be considered friends..came over to my house yesterday with her two kids. She got there at 4:30 and as soon as she got there she asked if she could bum a cigarette.. Then 6:30 rolls around and I say to my children, "Come on inside girls..Mommy's gotta cook supper. Tell the kids bye".. Next thing I know she follows us in.. I don't like her children in my house because they trash everything and she don't make them clean it up. Anyway.. I kept giving hints for her to leave and she sat on my couch and watch TV and helped herself to our dinner until 8:00 when I put my kids down to sleep. How do I get people like that to just leave without being mean?

 
SuperrMommyy

Asked by SuperrMommyy at 2:04 PM on Jun. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Level 37 (92,810 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • people like that dont take hints, you have to just tell them
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 2:07 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I say " well I hate to kick you out but we are going to have dinner and family time"
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:08 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • In all seriousness, Why are you worried about being mean? Go ahead be mean! All these suggestions are great! Use them. But if they still aren't working then this woman deserves mean! Why feel guilty when she pushed you into it?
    LoveMyDog

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 2:27 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Just tell her you would like to spend some time alone with your kids.
    cmgIII

    Answer by cmgIII at 2:06 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • You just have to outright say, It is time for you to go now. You gave hints and she didn't get it so no more being nice and subtle about it. Perhaps you can say, I need you to leave, I want to spend some time with just my girls before they go to bed, so that you aren't just - get out - but you have a reason. Good luck!
    JamieLK

    Answer by JamieLK at 2:08 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • It sounds like you hinted as much as you can. it might be uncomfortable but you're going to have to be direct with her and tell her that you need. Maybe say... Well, i have to cook dinner so why don't you go home now and call me tomorrow.
    Mel_in_PHX

    Answer by Mel_in_PHX at 2:08 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Be assertive and tell her I don't mean to be a bitc8 but we are having dinner and bedtime~she should get it then,right?
    momthruivf

    Answer by momthruivf at 2:09 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Tell them that you don't have enough food to feed their family too because money is tight lately. And tell the kids that they can play another day. Trust me, I have a neighbor just like that! Good luck!
    AshleyLynnW

    Answer by AshleyLynnW at 2:10 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Sometimes people just don't get the hint and you have to just say something like "Well, we need to get cleaned up for dinner now, I'll call you and we'll have to get together sometime soon"...say that as you are walking toward the door and opening it.

    Side note: We used to live in a condo community and I became friends with one of our neighbors. I went over to her house to watch a movie once and, literally as soon as it was over, she got up and walked to the front door opening it up. I left and I personally just found that so unsettling that I never accepted another invitation from her. Maybe that will work for you! LOL
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 2:12 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • While this may not have worked at all with this clueless woman, I'd have tried a page from the book of Miss Manners: stand up (very important to stand up) and say "I'm glad we had a chance to visit, but I've got to get ready for a busy day tomorrow. Maybe we can get together again sometime soon."
    jmpj8107

    Answer by jmpj8107 at 2:12 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

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