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Should I buy a fathers day gift for my kids to give to their father?

I usually do every year. We bought him a two hundred dollar grill last year. But this year we are emotionally seperated (we still live together for financial reasons but as far as I am concerned we are no longer a couple and seperated)

So do I get him a fathers day gift this year or is that crossing a line? Do divorced women buy fathers day gifts for their kids to give to their dad's? I am new at this and I don't know how it works or where the line should be drawn.

 
studentteach

Asked by studentteach at 2:44 PM on Jun. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (310 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I've been divorced from my ex for almost 6 years. Up until 2 years ago, I would give the girls a set amount of money and take them to Target or Walmart or whatever and let them buy a Father's Day gift for their father. I hated it, but it meant something to them to give him a present and that was what was important to me. Year before last, my youngest (who was 10 at the time) told me that they would just get him a card, since he never took them to get me anything for Mother's Day she said it wasn't fair I paid for his Father's Day present. So, now, if they get him a gift, it comes from their allowance or their jobs. I might have to spring for a card. But even if the youngest asked, I would still give her a set amount and take her. As long as it is important to her, it's important to me even though he isn't. LOL...does that make sense?
    SweetMsMills

    Answer by SweetMsMills at 4:14 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Instead of buying a gift have your kids make him something. Handprints in clay, popsicle stick photo frames, bayfood jars covered in glue and yarn for pencils on his desk. Buy a wite t shirt and have them dip their hands in panit and write under it Best Dad...or #1 Dad or Happy Fathers Day. That way YOU are out of the equation and he gets gifts that his children made.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 2:53 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • It depends on what you want to teach your children. Do you want them to learn to give gifts to the people they love, or do you want to teach them to live selfishly and always be on the receiving end? The goal of parenting should be to teach children that they really get more out of life when they give to others rather than when every thought is about me and how I feel. Your situation being what it is gives you an excellent opportunity to teach them that perhaps Daddy needs a gift from them now more than he has ever needed one before, and we can use this occasion to make Daddy feel better for having brought these children into the world instead of punishing him further because things haven't gone well between you and him. Another thing you might consider is would you want him to teach them to give you gifts on your special days. If that's your desire, then you have the chance to lead the way in establishing that tradition.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:59 PM on Jun. 1, 2011


  • Do you think he should buy you a mother's day gift?
    UpSheRises

    Answer by UpSheRises at 2:49 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • YES!!!

    What ever is going on is between you and your husband NOT the kids and their dad. You will hurt your children emotionally forever if you start to use them as pawns in your relationship. And it is a horribly immoral thing to do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:52 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • You haven't said how old the kids are. If they're old enough to have an allowance/job then I'd take them shopping and let them choose something within their budget and maybe help a little. If they're younger perhaps they could make him something special. Handprints are my favorites because they are only that small once. There's no way I would spend $200 on my ex. I didn't do that even when we were married. Father's Day & Mother's Day is about what the children can give/help their parents. That's why I have always treasured the homemade cards, coupon books, etc
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 2:56 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • if it was me i would still get him one because he is still their father even if you arent technically with him. i think kids like being able to give their parents a gift and they only get a few times a year to do it. but its totally something personal on if you feel like you should or not. i will say i wouldnt be spending $200 on the gift but i would get something for them to give, or take them to the store and let them pick out what they want to get him.
    MamaSusieQ045

    Answer by MamaSusieQ045 at 2:49 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • * babyfood and *white..sorry about that.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 2:54 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I'm not. I told him he would have to spend his own money so that our daughter can get him something. That is what I had to do after he told our daughter that since we are no longer together I was not worth getting anything for.
    KyliesMom5

    Answer by KyliesMom5 at 3:21 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

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