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2 Bumps

My Brother just got engaged at 35 and has always lived with my parents. My parents got divoriced about 10 years ago

so it has just been him & my dad. My dad is not in good health at all and is 70 yrs old.
While I do not fault my brother for wanting to be happy. I also know the gal he wants to marry he has been with for 5 yrs & her kids are just damned rotten. None are his.
I am so sad for my dad who I think knows something is coming because he has started talking nursing home,no one in my family has EVER been in a nursing home & I really think this would be the end of him.
I guess what I am wanting to know is how do we keep my dad happy yet still have my brother happy. I have asked dad to live with my dh & dd but he doesn't want to do that & he will NOT live with my brother & his new family.
I am just so sad. It's hard being the oldest & going through all of this if my mom would of just stayed with my dad things wouldn't be like this but she calls him everyday but not her children but her ex.
Thanks for any words.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:58 PM on Jun. 1, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • If he can afford it, maybe a move to a retirement community would work. Most have homes or apartments for independent living, with medical support for those who need it, and a lot of activities.

    Answer by MissKathleen297 at 6:03 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • He might need extra encouragement to move in with you.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 7:14 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • so you blame your mom? that's just wrong. It will all work out. Just let dad make his own decisions.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:16 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Yes, I do blame my Mom and NO IT IS NOT WRONG! What ex-wife leaves their husband after 40 yrs and then continues to call them daily, show up to all their surgeries, and tests if she wanted to know what is wrong with him she should of stayed with him and THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT MY MOTHER IT'S ABOUT MY DAD & BROTHER!And she doesn't call her children what is wrong with that???

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:20 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I have done my part I take him to Mt Rushmore, Fishing in Lake of the Woods in Minnesota, football games dr appointments & anything else that he needs. He does NOT want to live in my home with my family he thinks he would be a burden.I clean his house all the time hired a house keeper even though my brother lives there. I pay for lots of stuff.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:23 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • MissKathleen Thanks you for not putting blame onto anyone that was a most appropriate answer


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:37 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • This is no ones fault but it is something that has to be dealt with. Why doesn't your dad want to live with you? It's not right to ask our brother to put his life on hold any longer and it sounds like your dad understands that. You need to be talking to your dad about it. Would he be able to live on his own? What about an assisted living apt.? Talk to him and see what he is willing and able to do. Don't worry about the other things. It will all work out.

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 9:48 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Your mom had him. Your brother did his part. Now it is your turn, especially since you do not want to have him in a home.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 7:15 PM on Jun. 1, 2011