My SO and I live together. We've been together for about 2 years, and I have 2 kids from my first marriage; he has no kids but was also married before.
Lately, I feel like all he ever does is criticize me. And it's frequently unconstructive criticism, like insulting me. Whenever I tell him that what he says hurts, he claims it's because it's true. Now, I won't claim to be perfect, some of what he says may be true. But he criticizes EVERYTHING about me, my kids, my family, my friends. There is nothing he doesn't criticize.
I do love him, although at this moment, I'm not sure I could explain to anyone why I love him. I love the him he used to be, I guess. He has acknowledged that he is stressed (which I understand, I am too. We have money problems right now.), and has said that he blames me for the fact that we haven't moved to another town where he feels he could get a different job that he would like better. The thing is, I never said he couldn't move. I told him that, given the issues we have in our relationship right now, I am not comfortable taking my children 2 hours away from all of our friends and family. I said if he wanted to move there, I would not be happy, but I would understand. He chose to stay.
I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place here. I cry at the thought of leaving him, because I do love him. But I also cry at the thought of being with him because of the way he treats me lately. I do believe that most of our problems are stemming from stress, but it's getting to the point where I just can't take it anymore. And the stress isn't going to go away any time soon, probably not ever, so it's not like I can tell myself we just need to get through a little longer.
I don't know what I should do. If I leave him, my kids and I will have to move back in with my parents for a while. And I feel like I will always wonder if I gave up on what could have worked. At the same time, I feel like if I stay, I'm just going to begin feeling worse and worse about myself and that eventually my kids might hear him and I don't want them to think they should act that way.
Any advice? Stay, leave? Murder? :) Ok, not serious on the last one. But I had to do something to make myself smile.
Asked by Anonymous at 6:33 PM on Jun. 1, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by Anonymous at 6:36 PM on Jun. 1, 2011
I had this problem and I left.... I am miserable and hurt and sad. Funny thing is, the idiot is still being an idiot. I would say try until you feel as if you have exhausted every last effort you have in you or you will probably have regrets. Throwing away a family for something that can be fixed is a crappy thing to carry on your shoulders.
Answer by amazinggrace83 at 6:36 PM on Jun. 1, 2011
Answer by kkbird at 6:49 PM on Jun. 1, 2011
Answer by tootoobusy at 7:07 PM on Jun. 1, 2011
Answer by kdwiegandt at 8:46 PM on Jun. 1, 2011
Why would you even think about staying in a relationship that your aren't happy in? Are you getting anything positive and encouraging from him at all? You have more of an option than many women on this site do and that is a place to move to with your children. Go, get out, start to make a good happy home for your self and your children.
Answer by meooma at 8:52 PM on Jun. 1, 2011
Answer by Raine2001 at 9:01 PM on Jun. 1, 2011
Answer by gdiamante at 9:23 PM on Jun. 1, 2011
Answer by itsmesteph11 at 9:40 PM on Jun. 1, 2011