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Trying to potty train my 3 yr old son, I need help from experienced moms. HELP, please?

My 3 yr old is in pull ups and been in them quite a while. I had to start using them to send him to preschool, but he was not quite ready to be potty trained yet. My son has developmental delay and some sensory problems, so that is why I am trying to potty train him so late. Here is my dilemma.... My son is perfect with the potty to pee in but only at bathtime. He will undress and stand up to pee in the potty before going in the tub, then he will get out of the tub to pee when he has to, and finally will go pee after the bath is finished.
I can't get him to answer me when I ask him if he has to go or not. When I take him in there and he goes, he will always wet his pull up like 5 to 10 mins later. It sort of makes me feel like he makes himself go to please me but can;t really finish entirely. When I do try to encourage him and instill some instruction he will always repeat what I said; for instance, "Great job and we need to stay dry all day now". Then he says, "all day everyday". And next time wets his pull up.
It seems like he really isn't understanding the concept and/or trying to turn it into a game with the all day everyday stuff. I really don't know where to go from here, and why is it so easy for him to understand and do at bathtime but not any other time.

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Asked by mwilson71 at 7:09 PM on Jun. 1, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Have you set up a reward system?

    Answer by babygirl0782 at 7:28 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Have you tried keeping him naked or putting him in underwear or boxers so he can see and feel when he is going. I never used pull ups I think they are just expensive diapers.


    Answer by retent at 7:40 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • If your son is developmentally delayed, he may take a little longer to potty train. My 6 year old is autistic and goes to the potty at home and at school, but, no where elese. I think you should put him in underwear at home, and be prepared to deal with the mess. He will get it, eventually.

    Answer by A.Perry at 8:51 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Ex-RN here: Okay, I never had a develop-delayed child, but 2 boys. I think poss you are asking too much of him yet.
    Agree w/ the idea of trying actual underwear. I'm sure he doesn't see any diff in diapers vs pull-ups!
    Is dad involved? Dads can be a real asset at this time. If no, some other male in the fam or close fr?
    Realize that their bladders are still pretty small--he may not be emptying fully or just has too small a bladder to key into the signals very well yet.

    Answer by suemayonline at 9:15 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • If he does great with a bathtime ritual maybe he would do well with everything being kind of a ritual.... for example... when he gets up in the morning, first thing... pee. If he's at daycare or at home... right after breakfast, lunch, before nap, before playing outside.... if he knows that he's expected to do it at those times maybe he'll be able to do it. If he's going on a regular basis hopefully the accidents in between will stop as well.
    My son will be 3 in July and has been trained for about 4 months now... he's still not great about asking to go on his own. I have to ask him and most of the time I just bring him at certain time or if I have to go I make him come along as well. But we have certain times we go as well.... like right after lunch and before we go outside or to the store.... he just knows he needs to go if we are going to do those things.

    Answer by AmiJanell at 2:55 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Well, I dont really have any answers for youbut if it helps to know you aren't alone then here goes. I have a 3 year old daughter who isn't potty trained and a son who just turned 5 that is developmentally delayed also and still in pull-ups. I am focused on himm right now and it seems nothing I do really helps. My son will go on the grass outside but just about any other time he wets his pants...even worse he poops in hispants too. I spend a FORTUNE on diapers and pull-ups! I will be waiting for some clever answers along with you!

    Answer by JanieJo at 11:42 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

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