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Do you have a healthy relationship with your SO/DH and NOT have sex often or much at all?? adult content

It's a long story as to how I'm coming to this conclusion, but I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be having much sex with my SO for a little while. Well, we already don't have much- but I have this serious problem (due to past relationships) of measuring the health of our relationship by our sex life...and we both just don't crave it the same (I do all the time, him- rarely ever b/c of work, stress, etc).

So basically I'd just like some advice and/or opinions from those of you who don't get to have sex very often (we were doing it once a week), but are still happily in love??? I mean, is this normal? I always see women here saying they do it 24/7, but then others say it doesn't happen enough. I just want to take sex out of the equation a little bit until he basically wants it more (apparently I've been too easy and accessible, which has made him want it less)

This is MY decision, not his- so please so bashing- I really just would like advice on healthy relationships where lots of sex isn't an option...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:23 PM on Jun. 1, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • sex isn't the only measure... if everything else is great and you just aren't having sex as much as you would like to then I wouldn't be worried about it. I used to get myself all worked up (and fearful) when we went from having sex every day to 3 or 4 times a week to 2 times a week... to not at all... but then we went back to 2 or 3 times.
    I realized later that we were both happy and content through all of those different seasons of our relationship and it was my expectations that were out of whack. I know that life happens and our relationship will keep on changing. I've decided not to let my fears spoil the other parts of our relationship.
    elizabiza

    Answer by elizabiza at 9:11 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • My husband and I have a healthy relationship . . . only have sex once or twice a month. Kids are small and drain our energy . . .

    More would be nice, but more sleep would be even better!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:27 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Sex for me is painful. But even before that, it just wasn't that important to me. I'd rather have someone I can talk to who is a good man than have someone I"m good in bed with
    MedicMommy

    Answer by MedicMommy at 7:34 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • I am not sure about it being a healthy relationship I am just the opposite. I don't want it at all 1 time per month is just too much. I am very happy with how things are in our relationship my hubby is not and he is very easy I want it I take it it's that simple. I don't want it I don't take it.
    I really question the amount of sex these ladies seem to be having more like bragging and is it really true who knows but then there is a lot of cheating going on also.
    I had a relationship where my ex husband & I had a great sex life & he still left and we also had a great relationship so I have no idea
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:27 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • i have a healthy relationship with my hubby, and we dont have sex often. we have a active 1 1/2 year old an im incredibly pregnant right now, but even before i was heavily pregnant we were pretty good. sex isnt everything make sure you guys have other options to do together like hobbies and that sort of stuff :)
    akalei

    Answer by akalei at 7:39 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • We have sex a few times a month, very minimal. He's sex crazed and I just could care less. But it's working for us right now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:10 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Emotions are hard. You have to try and teach your man that it is safe to express them with you. I would suggest if things are really bad in that department, a counselor would really be beneficial to help that process along. Good luck to you.
    kdwiegandt

    Answer by kdwiegandt at 8:31 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • We are great, have a great time togther and all the things that I think make our relationship healthy, but we only have sex once a month. We both work full time, have the kids an the house and sometimes/most times sleep is more important.
    Bubbie0809

    Answer by Bubbie0809 at 9:30 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • If that is the situation then there should be no problem. You don't need sexual release to have a good marriage. Of course if the marriage isn't really that healthy,,, that's a different story
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 9:36 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • thanks ladies, i appreciate what everyone is saying. our relationship is good and healthy, except for when i get all down and upset about the lack of sex- and that seems to be our biggest problem, which is really my problem because i can't just accept that we won't have sex as often as i'd like...and instead i get insecure and/or fearful that it means something is wrong in the relationship. i suppose even after a year of the cycle repeating- i'm still getting used to just trusting him and our love for each other...hopefully that makes sense!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:30 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

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Cant get it out of my head!

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