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Should I have gotten upset?

Ok, well I have had this best friend who is a man for about 8 years now. We have kinda grown apart since I got married, but now him and my husband are pretty good friends now. Well the other he was over helping my husband put tile down and my three year old son started throughing a tantrum (my husband was outside cutting tile at the time so he could not hear any of this) and my male friend started yelling at him like he was his father! Then I put my son in the corner for time out, and once again my friend was all "you need to listen to your mother, get back in the corner, stop crying, if you wanna cry about something I will give you something to cry about" I was totally shocked and he was all sorry i know its your kid, it just bugs me when he acts like that. I was soo angry at the time but didnt know who to react.....what should I do if something like this happens again? I am just totally dumbfounded.

Sorry its long

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Dec. 9, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (12)
  • Tell him you've got it under control and not to threaten your kids.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 3:25 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • Yeah tell him you can handle it...did you see a side of him that you never saw before?

    Answer by Dannee at 3:30 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • Sounds like he was ready to spank your son. Never leave your son alone with him........and tell him that you can handle your son yourself. Cut the friendship off!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • I wouldn't leave your son alone with him, tell your hubby to make sure not to leave him alone with your son, and tell the friend that you are quite capable of taking care of your son and that if he can't bite his tongue and stay out of it, he need not come around again. Honestly, I don't tolerate people outside my family disciplining my kids, even verbally and I don't hesitate to tell them to back the he** off. You shouldn't, either.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 3:33 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • It was a side i have never seen of him before i think thats why i was so shocked! It was almost like he was trying to take on the father figure. I just didnt know really what to say.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:37 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • Next time it happens. Remove your child from his presence and tell him that you will take care of it. He'll get the picture. I would give him one of those girl looks, too!

    Answer by mom050607 at 11:06 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • My husband has spanked my nephew... it's not his place, and he asked afterward if he should have done it, but his mom and dad let him run wild and he had hurt my daughter. So my husband stepped in and took care of it. Someone had to.

    My 3 year old has never thrown a tantrum. Maybe you need to consider how often your child does and is this a situation where the friend was just fed up with your child acting like a brat?

    I mean, if he was there to help and get work done, and your son's behavior was interfering with them, what do you expect? His teachers at school will do the same thing if he acts like that. Are you going to get mad at them?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 AM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • Anon @ 1:18, I have to disagree with you. No teacher will tell a child, "If you want to cry, I'll give you something to cry about", and if they did, absolutely a parent would get mad at them. There is a difference between a teacher who is expected to be in charge of the child and a "friend" stepping into a situation that is not their concern. Even if her child was acting like a "brat" as you put it, it's not his place. Fed up or not, he could have and should have walked away. No matter how often a child misbehaves, no one else has the right to discipline your child unless you give it to them, and she clearly didn't.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:16 AM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • You need to tell that man he needs to find some new friends if he can't come to your house and respect your family including your kids. You definetly had a right to get upset. I probably would have said a lot more than what you did but that's just me. I'm very defensive when it comes to my kids.

    Answer by AuntMommy25 at 1:44 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • I guess it depends on weather you felt threatened or afraid for your son by his reaction. My husband and I have a mutual friend that backs me up when I am disciplining one or both of the twins and my husband isn't there. I trust him and know that he would NEVER hurt my little girls. It is your judgment call on that one. You are the only one that knows him. If that is something completely off in left field for him than I would have to suggest talking to him about it and reminding him that even as a valued part of your life, the disciplining of your child is you and your husbands responsibility, and thank him for backing you up. You are the only one that knows if he is a threat to your son.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

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