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How do i get my tween daughter to listen to me without yelling all of the time

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haybaymomma

Asked by haybaymomma at 9:26 PM on Jun. 1, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • i also have a tween.... don't yell, just give her consequences. in other words, take stuff away. sorry, you can't go to the dance tomorrow night. Now you can't sleep at your friends house like you planned because..... No internet for a week if you continue to.....
    it has been working pretty well for me. i usually give her an opportunity to correct the behavior and make sure she understands my expectations. Good luck momma
    Mel_in_PHX

    Answer by Mel_in_PHX at 9:31 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • My favorite for this age is to have them come up with their own discipline.. so, for example, next time she has a bad behavior ask her what she thinks she should have to do as a consequence for her poor behavior.. most time they are harder on themselves and it makes them think longer. I have also had them do papers on etiquette etc... you can take things away as well that are for pleasure activities but... that does not always work. Good luck!
    Camilletnt

    Answer by Camilletnt at 9:34 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • Listen to her calmly, then tell her calmly how it is and what's gonna happen when she doesn't comply. And don't yell at her in return. And ALWAYS back up what you say. No free passes - let her know that quiet, respectful compliance is the only acceptable behavior. Don't argue - it takes two to fight, but only one to stop.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 PM on Jun. 1, 2011

  • bump

    sherribeare

    Answer by sherribeare at 12:00 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Stop repeating yourself. Say something only once. Unfortunately, you have inadvertently trained your daughter to know that you will repeat yourself until you yell. Fist sit her down and tell her that your vocal cords are in retirement, you are done yelling LOL! Then say that from now on you are going to make a request once, that's it, then a natural consequence (where the 'punishment fits the crime' so to speak), and that's it. I have never yelled, in fact, if I get very angry (which is rare) I start to whisper which forces husband or son to listen more closely to me. I don't have the patience to repeat myself so I made sure to make communicating clearly with my son a priority when he was younger. It has paid off, but there are those days! Good luck mama! I am not looking forward to the teenage years, how about you?
    dwmom2008

    Answer by dwmom2008 at 12:31 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • I also have a tween don't yell, just give her consequences. In other words, take stuff away. Sorry, you can't go to the dance tomorrow night. Now you can't sleep at your friends house like you planned because..... No internet for a week if you continue to.....
    it has been working pretty well for me. i usually give her an opportunity to correct the behavior and make sure she understands my expectations. Stop repeating yourself. Say something only once. Unfortunately, you have inadvertently trained your daughter to know that you will repeat yourself until you yell
    Christmaslver68

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 3:56 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • just dont yell.

    say it once in a normal voice, tell her the consequence if she doesnt listen... and follow through.
    She will listen next time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:34 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • thats a million dollar question
    acrainpain1

    Answer by acrainpain1 at 7:53 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Speak softly and do not give in. Don't argue or yell. Once they got you doing that they feel there is the opportunity that things will go their way.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 8:29 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

  • Don't yell, it never solves anyting and it only exculates into something major that could've been avoided in the beginning. You're the parent and boundaries should've been set a long time ago. She should be in a place where she knows what lines to cross and of course on occasion she will cross a few lines but she knows in general when you mean business. Taking away your children's things without consequences in my opinion doesn't solve anything either because a child gets to the point where they know you'll take it away, they'll get use to you taking it away, look forward to you taking it away and learn to live without it. When you take something away from your child, without giving them a "real consequence" for thier action, its not called parenting at all, its like sweeping it under the rug without dealing with the real issue...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 12:26 PM on Jun. 3, 2011

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